Discretion, yachts, Bay Area

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You’re a slut and we all know it.

I would like to clarify what discretion does and does not mean for me within Professional Domination.

What it does mean: I can guarantee you that I have no intentions of outing you to the vanilla world at all. I will not be emailing your work email (unless you have chosen that as our only form of contact ???). I will not call or text you without initial discussion or precedent. In all public outings, I will take caution in ensuring that our interactions do not put us at legal or social risk. Unless a particular scene involve me blackmailing you for your personal information or unless we are taking a trip together, I will not ask for information on your vanilla life. You are more than welcome to volunteer that information to me, and you can rest assured in knowing that I won’t be revealing your identity to vanilla outsiders.

If you explicitly ask me to keep something entirely secret, I will keep your secret.

Discretion, for me, entails keeping both of our identities safe and separate from the vanilla world.

Discretion does not mean that our interactions exist within a vacuum. Should another professional ask for a reference from me, I will more than happily detail them on our interactions (within good reason). Should you behave well, I will sing your praises. Should you behave poorly, they will know of this immediately.

If all of this sounds like a veiled threat to you, it might be. I simply wanted you to know that your activities are always being reported and policed by Big Sister (AKA the Domme Sisterhood). Be on your best behavior because we’re always watching. Discretion is never an excuse for poor behavior.

And again: we’re always watching you.

Yacht Club, but make it Domme

On a less intimidating note, I had a pretty sweet time on a yacht yesterday with a bunch of Dommes and bitches. Mistress Lucy threw a party courtesy of her slave, whose boat it was. I peed on men on the poop deck. We ate donuts. Photos were taken.

I’m a boat Daddy!

Yesterday was very much one of those days that reminded me how much I loved my job and my life. I have the delightful privilege of hanging out on a yacht on a weekday afternoon just to chill with my hot, bossy friends. And of course, I always have human toilets ready for use.

Remember: if it seems like my life is better than yours, it’s because it’s true!

Next time I’ll allow one or two slaves to wait on me hand and foot. Because the only thing that could have made the day better would have been a bunch of groveling bitches crawling behind me, ready to feed me grapes at a snap of my finger.

San Francisco/Oakland/Bay Area: October 28th to November 1st

And finally, I’ll be in the Bay Area this week from Monday to Friday. As the primary reason for my trip is personal, I do not have many time slots available for sessions. I’m prioritizing longer sessions (2h minimum). I still have some availability – however if you know me, then you know that an earlier notice is better. Apply here.

Oh, also! I’m shooting with Elise Graves on this trip! Can’t wait to make some heavily restrained smut with her. 😈 I’ve admired her bondage work for quite some time now and am soooo excited to finally meet her in person.

And finally, here’s a Twitter roundup for those of you less technologically socially inclined.

I love leaving my mark! The best way to leave marks is with blood. The slave’s blood, obviously.

One of my favorite things to do in session is to do horrific things to my victims while having delightfully cheerful pop music going on in the background. I feel like it adds a wonderful contrast to the tortures that are at hand. Last year, I played Hall and Oates for probably 75% of my sessions.

I figured the Shania Twain soundtrack would be suitable this time as I was wearing the cowboy boots that he had purchased me for my birthday. I went for a whole country western soundtrack the entirety of the session.

The greatest benefit of putting on popular music in the background is that the next time my sub hears Shania, he will inevitably think of my relentless ball whipping. Memories! They’re the gift that keep on giving, truly.

That’s it for now!

Did this post give you a boner in any way, shape, or form? A gift off my wishlist is much better than a cum tribute.

Photo by Ryan Bussard!


Weekly thoughts

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I’ve had a delightful couple of weeks – so busy, in fact, that I have started to neglect my blog. Patience makes the pervert’s heart grow hornier.

Here are a couple of highlights via a Twitter roundup.

One of my weeks was filled with all queer femmes! And I’m talking about only that sweet feminine energy. I’ve already talked extensively about how much I enjoy playing with ladies and everybody else in between, and 2019 has provided a bounty. Thanks, QTPOC community! I have been blessed.

My favorite part about playing with different genders and sexualities is that I get to explore different aspects of BDSM that I don’t usually play with. My two current obsessions are tit bondage and pussy clips, for example. It’s like having new toys, and you know your Daddy likes having new toys.

On top of that, I’ve recently realized that playing with trans folx has helped me hone down my verbal and humiliation skills. Rather than relying on usual gendered stereotypes, I become put into a situation where I have to humiliate the person for who they are at their core. It’s become a fun challenge for me.

I’ve been doing some spring cleaning in my panty drawer and have sold loads of pairs in the past couple of weeks. I’m absolutely delighted that the lot of you are the pantysniffing sickos I knew you to be. Way to live up to stereotypes! Of course nobody wants clean panties. Some of you guys even want them extra dirty…

My slave gimpy is sad that I have been selling all of those panties, but of course that just means he can buy me more.

My goal is to clear out all my old pairs of underwear by 2020, and I expect you pervs to snap up the rest of them. You bitches have two months. If you’d like to buy a pair of dirty drawers for yourself, shoot me a text on SextPanther or use my contact form to buy them from me directly. International shipping accepted and specific requests encouraged (I’m looking at you, extra dirty panty boys).

I’ve also been on Skype quite a few times this week. I typically don’t prioritize Skype sessions, but this past week might change my mind. In particular, this bedwetter was hilarious. He even saved up four? five? six? bottles of old piss just for my use. Needless to say, I used up all those bottles like the conniving bitch that I am.

If you guys keep on pouring old piss over yourself, you might just persuade me to stay on cam more often. Fight the good fight.

And let’s not forget about ballbusting! Because I did…a lot of it these past couple of weeks. This intelligent man decided that it was a good idea to use a rubber mallet in session. Needless to say, I was a bit fixated on using it the entire time.

I mean, if you have a dicklet that small, you’re pretty much only good for ballbusting anyway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Finally, I had a shoot with Mistress Lucy Khan this week. I adore her. One of the biggest reasons why I love her is because we are two curly-haired Asians who love to shit on men. The commonalities are uncanny! But also, she’s just a Very Fun Lady. We had a blast shooting Asian supremacy and toilet humiliation videos, and to top it all off, we spitroasted her slave in a schoolgirl abduction fantasy.

I’m honestly very pleased with the plot for the strap-on video and am quite excited for it. Keep your eyes peeled next week or so!

And that’s it for now. Until next week, bitches!

(Photo by David Zayas Jr.)


Things men want up their bums

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I had a highly entertaining NiteFlirt phone call yesterday.

When people call me telling me their fetish is unusual, I’m typically quite dismissive of it. I am a Dominatrix, after all. I do weird shit for a living. I’ve made a full circle in regards to what I find strange, and now find that the most vanilla things are the most bizarre, and the kinkiest things are of utmost normality. I’m not easily phased.

So he warned me that his predilections were…unusual, and of course, I didn’t believe him. He had a bit of a heavy accent, so I had some trouble understanding him initially. We both spoke very slowly while I tried to suss out exactly he was into. There were a lot of moments of me repeating what he said to make sure I heard correctly.

He told me he liked bondage.
I said, “Cool, bondage is one of my favorites.”
He told me he like forced bi.
I said, “Cool, I do that all the time.”
He said he was into food.
“Like sploshing?”, I asked.
“No, like feeding,” he said.
“What do you like to be fed?”
I had to double-check what I heard. “Eggs?”
“Yes, eggs.”
“Like hard-boiled eggs?”
“Yes, eggs.”
“What is it about eggs that you like so much?”
“They’re hard to eat.”

Yes, like these kinds of eggs. Eggs!

I laughed because I thought of all the times I ate a hard-boiled egg too quickly (I eat largely vegetarian at home and always have eggs on hand). The feeling of the pasty egg yolk caught in your throat while peristalsis stubbornly tries to push it down. The hiccups. That big lump in your esophagus. I could relate. Eating eggs can be quite difficult.

But more than that, he wanted to be force fed eggs, and he wanted eggs shoved up his asshole. He’d only taken four at a time up his bum before, but I told him I was certain he could take more. He wanted to eat both hard-boiled and raw eggs with the shell on while being fucked in the ass by a trans woman. He wanted to be tied up so he had no choice but to take…the eggs.

I told him he could probably do one better: first have eggs stuffed up his bum, then have the trans woman fuck the eggs deeper in while I hand fed him eggs into his mouth, then stuff more eggs up his bum while I forced even more eggs in his mouth, progressively filling up both holes more and more in this vicious cycle. And finally, the woman would cum inside his eggy mouth for the ultimate omelet (obviously).

It was all very nasty, very bizarre, and very…egg-shaped. I was laughing the whole time.

Eggs. Are they the most disgusting form of feeder/feedee fetish? Maybe? Probably? Definitely.

This entire interaction had me thinking about all the things dumb men shove up their assholes in moments of horny desperation. (In fact, Clips4Sale has an entire category dedicated to this phenomenon called “Odd Insertions”.) Of course, there are the obvious ones: carrots, eggplants, italian squash, cucumbers. But why stop at phallic shapes? Why not get creative? The world is truly your oyster (or perhaps your asshole is the oyster) when it comes to penetrating your own anus.

Why not Lego men if you’re feeling kinda gay? Toy trucks if you’ve got a pedal pushing fetish? A giant pacifier if you’re a slutty diaper lover? A tree branch if you want to be one with nature? A small broom if you need to clean the house? Or go classic with a knob of ginger for that fiery experience? They don’t call it a knob for nothing, you know.

And you know what? I’m 100% certain that some of you readers have tried some of these objects inside of yourselves before. Bravo to horny male ingenuity, brave stupidity, or something like that. Desires like these are exactly what allow Dominatrices to make thriving careers for ourselves. Keep on sticking things in your ass that don’t belong there and succumbing to the futility that is your male libido. It sure as hell makes good entertainment for us!

One of my good vanilla friends is an ER nurse. I’ve occasionally consulted him on medical procedures for personal and professional interests. We’ve joked that our jobs are practically the same thing – getting accidentally shat on, pissed on, bled on, and shoving all sorts of implements all across the human body. But most notably? He spends a lot of time taking random objects out of men’s assholes. As of this point, very few things phase him.

I should probably ask him if he’s ever removed a full egg out of someone’s ass before.

I’m not a nurse, but I do play one in the dungeon!

Hot strap-on/pegging picture from English Mansion last year! With Mistresses Sidonia Von Bork and Lola Ruin.


Nailing dicks to boards (NSFW/L)

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Bloodthirsty femdom Mistres An Li in a kitchen with a knife

I had a pretty great week this past week. Most notably, I nailed a penis to a wooden board.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. I nailed a male penis to a board using hammers and, well, nails. And he quite literally asked for it. (Picture at the end, and also – obviously – very NSFW/trigger warning.)

But how does one get there, exactly?

We started off with CBT and ballbusting. A lot of me grabbing his balls directly, pulling them, squeezing them, and twisting them around. He has the type of testicles that, upon first grabbing, one might think was quite large. I quickly realized that it was, in fact, his thick ball skin that made it so much bigger.

And the thing about thick ball skin is that sometimes it can make balls harder to grab. The gonads seem to disappear into the body more easily because the skin is less saggy and therefore closer to the pelvis (rather than the typical loose swinging nuts). It’s harder to get a good grasp on them to separate the balls from the body. And because his balls were being finicky, I frequently had to forcefully grab them, lest they escape me. Unfortunately for him, this hurt a lot more.

I had cautioned him against using the safeword, mostly because I was in that sort of cheerfully sociopathic mood and didn’t really want to ruin my fun. I knew what was on the menu for the day and was quite thrilled about it. I may have overestimated him in that moment.

He verbalized to me that he was getting close to using the safeword after one particularly sharp tug at his balls. It surprised me. Could a man who was asking for his cock to be nailed to a wooden board really be safewording out with me simply pulling on his nads with my bare hands? We were just getting started! This wouldn’t be the worst of it, if I had my say.

As we progressed on with the playtime, I realized that his pain tolerance was lower than I expected. For a man who said ballbusting was a “firm favorite” within his BDSM interests, he wasn’t taking the pain as well as expected. Would he be able to handle getting nailed through his cock and balls? Would my fantasy even happen? Would all my prep work be for naught?

The session progressed on, with me tiptoeing the edge between safeword and not. I always like to play that line and see how far I can push someone before they break. I electrically sounded him for a solid hour, pushing up the amplitude higher and higher to see how much he could take. He asked me to turn it up even more. I felt relieved. Perhaps there was salvation in this so-called masochist!

And then, it was time: the dick nailing.

I had already scrupulously cleaned, sanitized, and laid out all the required items. Baked sterile wood: check. Nails soaking in a Cavacide bath: check. Hammer and pliers, cleaned and ready: check and check. Bitch relaxing on a fuck swing, ready to be nailed: check.

When he saw the nails I brought out, he nervously said, “Those are a lot bigger than I was expecting.” I found this hilarious because I had spent a solid two or three minutes staring at nails in the store, trying to decide which size nail was the “nail-iest”. If I chose the smaller ones, they would look like thumb tacks. If I chose the biggest ones, they might be a lot more damaging than he would like (although I am all for permanent marks). I had settled on these particular nails after a lot of hemming and hawing.

Either way, I had nails, and he had a cock. So I nailed him.

I’m pretty pleased with myself. As a bloodlusty sadist who uses my job to sate my otherwise not-so-savory tendencies, this definitely hit the spot for me. And for him, as well! He handled the pain delightfully well. All my previous fears of him not being a masochist were instantly erased. How lovely!

In fact, he practically asked for more as I was finishing up. The extra cluster on his foreskin was at his own suggestion, that filthy masochist!

I’ve already been thinking of ways to increase the sensation next time. Electrocuting the nails would be a wonderful way of cauterizing the wound and creating permanent marks. Adding an element of predicament bondage to pull his cock and balls in different directions while nailed down would also be so, so fun. Or even adding some silly patterns while nailing would make it look pretty. So many ideas!

In any case, I’ve been in an exceedingly pleasant mood all week because of this. Now if only I had slaves like this every day…


“You’re a lot more approachable now.”

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I was shooting whipping clips last week with one of my longterm whipping slaves, g. He’s known me for over five years now, and I’ve shot the majority of my corporal punishment videos with him. He comes to my personal home and I use him as a whipping boy to practice aiming and different techniques. Our usual routine is whipping practice or shooting clips and then going out to get smoothies and chatting afterwards (because aftercare or something). I’d like to think we have a good relationship. After all, I don’t invite many slaves into my personal home for no reason! The fact that he’s a tank with corporal punishment isn’t too shabby either. 😉

After our extremely brutal shoot (you bitches are going to cream your pants watching these, so keep a lookout for them), I asked him how I’ve changed in my years as a Pro-Domme. After all, he’s known me from right about the time that I started to now in the present day. He’s been consistently in my life more than 95% of my submissives.

He said to me, quite succinctly, “You’re a lot more approachable now.”

I laughed because I was 100% certain he was correct. Slaves aren’t usually correct, but this was an exception. 😉

I’ve been thinking about what it means to change as a Domme. And in particular, I’ve been thinking a lot about the Dunning-Kruger effect. (There’s a great This American Life about it. Check it out here.)

Not my own picture, but you get the idea.

More colloquially, Dommes know this phenomenon as “Baby Domme Syndrome”.

When we start out as Dommes, the excitement of digging into this empowering, seedy underworld is overwhelming. That, on top of the fact that people are literally paying to worship us – well, it can lead to a bit of overconfidence. And while many Dommes do have the natural instinct towards domination, that doesn’t mean it’s refined or accurate yet. Let’s just call it more of a tendency than a true skill as of that point.

My first years as a Dominatrix were a headrush. I definitely got tipsy with power, and I definitely thought I was the All-Knowing Creator of FemDom. I wasn’t, of course. But man, how could I not believe I was the best Dominatrix in the world when people were calling me on NiteFlirt telling me that they had never seen anyone as Dominant as me, telling me that I was so much better than everybody else, telling me that they only wanted to be my slave and nobody else’s?

And with that ego, I developed a coldness. A perpetual sneer, you could call it. Slaves were slaves, and to be treated like such. Let none of these sniveling bitches in, and who even needs aftercare? Do slaves even deserve aftercare? Don’t talk to them, don’t even look in their direction unless you are making them cry. I am better than any other person in the world, and I’m most certainly better than a slave.

I can still look unapproachable if I want to. 💃 PC: Daniel Anton NYC

All of this is fun and true in the right scene, but highly unsustainable in life. It’s definitely unsustainable in my lifestyle! I’m happy to say that all of my slaves are also my friends. Sure, some of them are jackass, idiot friends, but you know how that goes…

Long story short, I was humbled many, many times throughout my beginning years. I still am humbled now! But whereas the humility was earth-shattering the first dozen of times, I now take it in stride as a learning experience. Everything is a learning experience.

While a couple of years ago, I would have been offended by someone describing me as approachable (in both work and life), I quite enjoy it now. I think it’s important to be able to let people into my life (with acceptable boundaries, of course). And in turn, having a connection with all my subs means our scenes can be so much more intense and meaningful. I like that. It truly feels like I am making a difference in someone’s life.

This is not to say that I don’t enjoy being a MegaBitch™. Quite the contrary – having a connection with my bottoms means that I can twist and use all their intimate bits even better! Whereas I once saw approachability as being weakness in a Domme, I now see it, in part, as a tool to manipulate my bitches even more. How ironic is that? Perhaps I should change my motto to “Vulnerability is the true path to Brutality”.

But more than that, I think about how I have progressed as a Mistress. I take everything a lot less seriously now. I have a lot more ease about what I do. If something (or someone) doesn’t go to plan, I have the resources to laugh about it now. I know that I know a decent amount, and I also know that I know not so much, so it’s a relief to not be held accountable for the entire compendium of BDSM knowledge. It leaves me open to more learning.

Just some thoughts today.

In other news, Eyes Wide Shut is tonight! Y’all know it’s my favorite play party, as I have espoused before. I’m excited to attend tonight. Tonight will be the usual round-up of babely Domme superstars, including Aiden Starr, Eden Winter, Jewell Marceau, Helena Locke, Sheri Darling, Skin Diamond, Porcelain Midnight, Bettie Bondage, Aine Patrick, as well as Katarina Fox and special guest Monday Jones visiting from Seattle!

Are your panties wet yet?

Hope to see some of you there. Come say hi to me because I’m approachable now. 😉

Finally, for general scheduling updates, I’ll be out of town the following week from Thursday to Monday (August 22nd-26th). I’m going backpacking in the Grand Canyon!

Those of you who have tried to schedule with me on the weekend know how notoriously hard it is to do so. A Mistress needs days off, too. Expect me to be entirely off the grid during this period of time. Daddy loves her cyber-free vacations.

Yellow background photo by David Zayas Jr.!


On social media, dominance, and authenticity

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Sometimes when I spend too much time on social media, I start questioning who I am. Should I be more like this? Should I do more of that? Am I too happy? Am I too sad? Who am I?

I’m sure all of you have had that experience. Social media can be, after all, an endless feedback loop of emotional masochism. Be more attractive, be more successful, be more everything, and of course, be much better than who you are.

I get this way a lot with my Pro-Domme peers. I’ll spend a little too much time on Twitter, and soon enough, I’ll be down a rabbit hole of validation-based immolation. Here are a couple of thoughts that regularly pop up for me:

  • “I need to wear more leather and rubber.”
  • “I don’t look intimidating enough.”
  • “I should try to be more of a seductress.”
  • “I’m too fat.”
  • “My ass isn’t big enough.”
  • “I’m not as successful as her.”
  • “Does she not want to be my friend?”
  • “Do I do too many hand jobs in videos?”
  • “I should dress more ‘domme-y’.”
  • “I need to be meaner.”

I dwelled in it for a bit and felt bad for myself. And then I snapped out of it, reminding myself that I am very happy the way I am.

It has taken me some period of time to reach this place. I used to have complete breakdowns based on my very limited perception of who I was versus how my peers represented themselves. Some days, I snap out of it faster than others. Other days, I mope in self-pity for a while, truly feeling not good enough.

Social media makes it a little too easy to doubt one’s self. Spending time on it can be so confounding for me, because on the one hand, Twitter is an endless well of kinky inspiration. On the other hand, I find myself comparing myself with other Dommes, taking notes on what I lack and how I need to be better. And ultimately, I begin to dismiss my own Dominance. I truly begin to feel as if I am not good enough.

And here’s the thing: there is no one form of Dominance. Sure, there are archetypes. There are disciplinarian leather Mistresses, glamorous rubber fetishists, sultry three-piece lingerie vixens – the list of attributes goes on and on. BDSM creates a multitude of archetypes to represent Dominance, and we in turn, as Pro-Dommes, are expected to embody them. But these are heightened fantasies. They’re meant to be extreme, and they’re meant to be out of this world and unattainable. They are all wonderful and divine…and they also aren’t always me. (Which is not to say anything less about the rare Women who naturally carry this energy throughout their daily lives. They are rare and magical creatures. Hold on to them tightly.)

Sure, I can and have embodied these roles. If you catch me on a good day, I might even get into a full rubber catsuit for you. But just because I am not glamorous 24/7 (or even 9-5/7) does not mean my dominance is any less diminished. Dominance is complex, and ultimately, so much of it is in the eye of the beholder. What is Dominant for one person is submissive to another. What is sexy to one person is repulsive to another.

Here is the example I like to use the most: in my lifestyle D/s relationships, I am both bossy and lazy. I spend enough energy micromanaging people in session that I’d rather kick back and do nothing on my off days. I like getting spoiled. I’m sometimes quite petulant (just because I can, not necessarily because I am). Now obviously, between me and my slaves, I am the Dominant one in this scenario. But one could entirely flip the situation around and say that I’m a brat or little girl type of bottom. After all, brats in BDSM like to talk back. And little girls are often spoiled and taken care of by their Daddies. Really, the thin line separating me and a submissive is that I know I am not submissive, and my slaves know the same as well.

External deciders like the outfits I choose, the personality I have, and the activities I enjoy do not impact who I am as a Dominant person. Dominance comes from within. (cheesy, yes)

When I first started domming, I had an entire idea of who I thought I was as a Dominant – and she was every bit the archetype that any layperson thinks of when they think of a Dominatrix. Cold, vicious, cruel, with cutting words and a Cruella de Vil wardrobe. A leather and latex Bitch with a perpetual sneer.

I loved being her, but something also didn’t feel right. It took me a couple of years to find my own Dominant persona, and I still am refining her each day. But more importantly, she changes from day to day. She doesn’t need to embody a specific archetype to validate her dominance.

Here’s one of the first baby Domme photos. I don’t have a mohawk anymore and I wear a lot less corsets now (turns out if I wear them for too long, I get irrationally angry…), but I still love leather.

Most Pro-Dommes know that it takes a bit of time to find your voice – both literal and mental – and I found this to be stunningly true with each passing year. And the thing is that this voice needs to be genuine, or why even bother? We’re not actually in the business of being actresses. We’re here to play. Domination is an outlet for creative and personal expression. It is something that is incredibly sacred to me, and having come close to burning out many times, I refuse to allow that to happen just because I chose to not be true to myself.

I’ve spent this year really thinking about who I am as a Mistress. What kind of Mistress am I? How would I characterize myself? How do others see me? And while I have gotten quite a few common descriptors, I still don’t fully have an answer to that. Because the fact of the matter is that who we are as people is so complex that to narrow that down to a couple of words would be a disservice to all those involved. I could tell you that I’m quite sweet in sessions, but I could also tell you about the time where I kicked a man to the floor while he was crying. I could tell you that I’m not that into slave training, but then my cleaning slaves could tell you about my laundry list of protocol I have each time they walk into my house. I could tell you that I’m not that into seduction, but I could also tell you that one of my favorite sessions ever was the time I gave a sub his first full body orgasm with my breath alone.

I could tell you many things about myself, and then I could tell you something to immediately disprove it. And regardless of all of that, what I can tell you in 100% full confidence is that I am Dominant. The outfits, the activities, the persona – those are all fluff. They are cultural signifiers to tell the world, “Hey, look at me, I’ve put some simplified and direct labels on myself to tell you that I am Dominant.” These labels are fun and easy, but they are not the whole truth of it. The truth of the matter is that if I want to dominate someone in pajamas, no make-up, and a friendly smile on, I am not diminishing my own dominance in any sort of way. And neither are you (to any Dommes reading this)!

Sure, the Domme archetypes are magical and delightful to wear for a day (or a year). They’ve taught me a lot about who I am and who I am not. I draw on a little bit of each whenever I play. But I also want you to know that you and I, we are all perfectly Dominant the way we are, and we don’t need to concede to a simplified ideology to show that. Don’t worry about what social media, porn, or other subs tell you what you need to be in order to be Dominant. Just trust in who you are, and let that guide you along your kinky path. Be authentic about it. Be your own goddamn, authentic, fabulous, Dominant self.

So who am I today? I am currently in T-shirt and shorts. My phone has been blowing up with slaves begging me to make them eat cum and poop. I’ve been sitting on the couch all day. I’m planning out my next corporal punishment and latex maid shoots. I made dinner. And I still feel sexy and Dominant as hell, all hiccups aside. 💋


Travel, Order of Indomitus, and Ladies!

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BDSM keeps a Mistress busy! Lots of thoughts and updates today.


First thing’s first, let’s get travel out of the way. I will be traveling a little bit south in the coming month, and then back up north, and finally, southeast in the fall. Because of my rather hectic personal schedule this fall, I do not have time for my usual East Coast fall tour. *sad trumpet* That is, unless you’d like to generously sponsor my travel to your city. 😉

And as usual, remember that I can fly to you damn near anywhere in the world provided that my flights and lodgings are generously provided for! Ya gurl loves business and first class.

50% deposits and advance notice of 48h minimum for all appointments. Good slaves come first.

San Diego on Sunday, August 4th, up until 6pm.

San Diego! This will be my first time playing in you. I know many of you drive up from San Diego to come see me in LA, and I thank you for that journey. And now for one day only, I am coming to you. I will be holding sessions up until 6PM at Porcelain Midnight’s Midnight Manor. I’ve played with Porcelain many times at Eyes Wide Shut and am looking forward to seeing and using her space! I’m such a lookie-loo when it comes to other people’s BDSM studios. I love seeing how they set up everything, what sorts of toys and equipment they choose to have, their cleaning and confirmation protocol – all of it! Everybody does it so differently that it’s fascinating to see how one person has streamlined a process or what another person uses the most.

Because I will be in San Diego largely for pleasure (Del Mar horse races, here I come!), I will be traveling light. Any specific equipment requests must be vetted in advance to see if I can accommodate it or if it is available at Midnight Manor. I will consider larger equipment requests for longer sessions (3h+).

San Francisco/Oakland/Bay Area, October 27th to November 1st.

I used to go to the Bay more often in the past, but that seems to have slipped in the recent years. Well guess what, bitches? I’m back again! And this time, for almost a whole week. You have me for a whole SIX DAYS! How lucky are you?

The Bay Area is my childhood home and I love being back. But most of all, I love all of you slaves that come out to see me! As many of you know, I play in multiple BDSM studios in the Bay. Most notably, La Maison de la Maitresse in SF and Black Thorn in Oakland are the ones that I frequent the most. I may be trying out a new studio in the city this time around, schedule permitting.

And hopefully, I’ll get to sneak in a video shoot or two. I’ve been itching to shoot with Elyse Graves of Bondage Therapy and if the stars align…

As this is my hometown, I’m prepared to travel full of (airplane-friendly) gear. Give me your equipment requests ahead of time so I can pack it all in!

Florida, Order of Indomitus, November 8th to 10th, and possibly Delray Beach November 12th to 15th!

I know a lot of you guys have seen the buzz about OOI on Twitter or Instagram. A bunch of hot, kinky Femdommes abusing men in the Florida outdoors. Whipping, pony riding, poolside pampering… you guys should take a look at the OnlyFans for a sneak peek at some of the Femdom shenanigans.

I cannot overstate how EXCITED I am for the event. In fact, consider everything I say about this to be an understatement. A Female Domination weekend on a secluded Florida estate. Three days of true slavery and submission. A full weekend of slave suffering and Femdom pampering. Outdoors BDSM (such a rarity)! And of course, let’s not forget that humidity. My hair and skin are going to look perfect in the wet Florida air. 😉

Not a picture from OOI, but my own from Clips4Sale. But you get the idea!

Headmistress and event host Michelle Lacy was kind enough to give me a very thorough briefing on the events to happen at OOI, and let’s just say that all the participants are in for quite a treat. I literally squealed when I read over all the activities that are scheduled to happen. And no, you can’t have any details. It’s a secret. Guess you’ll just have to attend. 😉

You can apply here, and be sure to say that I sent you. But you better do it fast, because it is guaranteed to sell out before the event date.

I may be staying for the week afterwards to decompress and take a couple of sessions in Delray Beach in South Florida at Michelle Lacy’s studio. I do not have these dates solidified yet, so check in regularly to see if I have them booked (realistically, I will solidify this by next weekend). If so, you can expect some session availability from the 12th to 15th. And as always, I can’t wait to see Michelle’s playspace! She posts wonderful pictures on Twitter, and I would love to see it in person. Maybe double or triple sessions are in the cards…

This will be my first time in Florida in TWENTY years. Let’s make it a good one.

And that’s it for travel updates! Whew. Now onto the kinky stuff.


I’ve been so, so lucky to have the privilege of playing with so many women this year. In the past, all of my female sessions have come in the form of couples playtimes. And don’t get me wrong, I love watching the exchange of energy and intimacy that can only be from a personal relationship, and I love the exhibitionism of playing with a woman while her partner is watching. But specifically, there is something about playing with a woman one-on-one that is inexplicably erotic.

This past week, I have had !two! long playtimes with ladies. The first was a young college student who had played in her lifestyle, but craved a professional experience. The second was a woman whom I was her first and second BDSM experience. Both women wanted to explore and try a little bit of everything, which I love doing. Taking someone’s hand and showing them all the ways BDSM can delight the senses is so wonderful. I truly feel honored that these two women chose me for their first professional experiences. I was walking on cloud nine all week.

Here’s a little sneak peek at the BDSM naughtiness that happened. 😉

So why is it that I love playing with women? Women, in my experience, are so much more reactive when you play with them. When you touch them, feel them up, whip them. It makes my job so much easier and so much sexier. I can read exactly what’s going on in their body and what they’re feeling. I feel a sense of intimacy that could only come from knowing her body because I have that same body, feeling a kinship for her because we share a culture, and then dominating the fuck out of her because I’m inside her mind. It’s hot, to say the least.

And of course, let’s not forget boobs, pussy, and ass. It’s more territory for me to play with! Most of you slaves don’t have breasts that I can tie up in a variety of ways, so until that happens, you will never present the same delicious challenges that playing with women does. (And yes, this does mean I did some delectable breast bondage last week. Unff. Hot.)

And what does this mean for everybody else? Take a page out of their books! If you want to have a good session, you need to learn how to emote. Expressing yourself in voice and body is how any good Dominatrix reads you and decides what to do next. Don’t be afraid of showing your emotion. We love it. Don’t try to steel yourself up to any feelings. You’re supposed to feel! This is kink, this is sex (of a type) – you should feel everything. BDSM is meant to be experienced in full.

We want to know that you’re experiencing it fully and presently. It gives us satisfaction in knowing that the actions we cause have an effect on you. It tells us that what we’re doing is working, and to do it more. Or maybe, that what we’re doing isn’t working, and to do it less. After all, if you don’t emote at all, it’s about the equivalent of playing with a pet rock. And no shade to anyone who loves their pet rock, but I personally do not glean any joy out of beating a rock.

Kinktra in the Raw

I did an interview last month with Jane Jett (Dominatrix) and Erinn Acuna (healthy food advocate and food slut). You can listen to it here. I mostly talk about scat play in it, lol.

I had a fun time recording it. On the one hand, Jane Jett’s knowledge of BDSM was impressive and venerable. On the other hand, Erinn Acuna was just as anal retentive as me. It made for a fun, easygoing balance while we shot the shit (lol) and chatted about kink. Let me know what you think! xx

$$$ Clips4Sale $$$

Clips4Sale is running a promotion all of July! I get a larger percentage of your purchases, which obviously means more money in my pocket. And you want me to have more money in my pocket, right? Because more money in my pocket means more toys, more time, and more Happy Mistress™. The catch is that for all your purchases this month, you need to use this specific link to make your purchases with. The prices for my videos are still exactly the same, I just get a little bit more money. Which is good for you and good for me.

And if you haven’t seen my videos yet, what are you doing with your life? No seriously, what the fuck are you doing with your life??? Head on over to my video stores and gobble all those videos up like the horny jerkaholic you are. You won’t regret it, I promise.

Pro-Domme hot tip: videos are a great way of seeing the skills a Domme is capable of and the equipment she may have on hand. While videos are not reality (read: I won’t give you a hand job, pervert), they are a pretty accurate way of assessing what she may be like in session. For anybody who’s nervous about trying a new ProDomme out, take a look at her clips stores (if she has any) to get a glimpse of her BDSM capabilities. Take a look at all her videos and see what sorts of activities she might lean towards. It is a tremendously helpful way of getting to know a Domina before meeting her.

Of course, any good sub researching a new Mistress should take a look at everything she uses to represent herself, from her website to her social media to her forum posts to anything else. Videos are only one factor of the equation.

🎵 It’s my birthday, I’ll bully if I want to 🎶

It’s my goddamn birthday this week! I’ve already gotten loads of presents, and I want more! And remember: presents exist in all forms, not just physical presents. You can help clear out my wishlist here, buy my clips or send me a birthday tribute on Clips4Sale or iWantClips, book a playtime, or send a donation to some of my favorite charities, Sex Workers Outreach Project Los Angeles, Planned Parenthood, or Free Speech Coalition.

Presents! Look at my presents!

Remember, it feels good to give to your Goddess. It always feels good.

That’s it for now. Whew! Was that a lot? Because that felt like a lot on my end. Either way, if you have made it through this post, congratulations, you studious bitch. And if this has piqued your interest, and you want to play with me one-on-one, you know exactly where to find me.

PS: Hot photo at the top by The English Mansion in the UK. Because bondage, duh 💕


Eyes Wide Shut, a Femdom play party

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Eyes Wide Shut Femdom BDSM play party in Los Angeles

Last night was Eyes Wide Shut. It’s a Femdom play party I’ve been playing at for four years now, give or take. When I first went independent, one of the first things I did was reach out to the hosts to ask to attend. I had my eyes on the party ever since I started ProDomming and was pretty eager to join it because of the all-star roster. I’ve been going consistently ever since. I think I’ve only missed out on two parties in the past four years.

I’ve loved the event ever since the first time I attended it. Something about the energy of all the women who attend, the familiarity with the regulars, the novices who are down to try so much – it’s always a lot of fun! Each EWS is like a party with old friends and new friends. And social element aside, I really get a lot out of watching Pro-Dommes play. The work that we do can be incredibly isolating, and it’s easy to get stuck in a rut between sessions. When I watch others revel in their Femdom craft, I pick up new tricks or get inspired to try something a little bit differently. Voyeurism for the sake of science can be mentally refreshing. (Voyeurism for the sake of voyeurism is also fun, too…)

Here are a couple of highlights from last night:

  • I touched Eden Winter’s boobs. They felt as good as they looked. In fact, I’m reliving that experience in my mind as I type this. (Are you pervs jealous yet?)
  • I tied up cbtslave’s cock and balls in the most delicious, squishy sort of way. I separated, stretched his balls, and pulled his balls upward, and then tied up the entirety of his cock and pulled it downwards. He has a bit of a split urethra, and I pulled some string through that, bisecting the head of his cock. (NSFW, obviously.) I was feeling predicament bondage at that moment and proceeded to attach more rope to his toes so that each time he moved (which of course he would), his cock would move this way and that. I then proceeded to poke his cock and balls and laugh each time he groaned. Several ladies joined in the poking fun because who could resist poking a dick balloon??
  • I met the most INSANE ballbusting bottom ever. This man had some zen-like control over his impulses, because we had a completely normal conversation while I was repeatedly kicking and kneeing him in the balls. He didn’t even pause to groan or take a breather. Just an entirely normal conversation! It was nuts!
    I really wished I brought my boots because the tops of my feet were getting sore from kicking him so much. You’d almost think that I was the bottom in the scene given how much my feet hurt and how little he reacted each time I kicked him…
    In any case, I am definitely going to try to shoot with him at some point! Ballbusting videos are my jam.
  • I ran into one of my former domestic slaves! I don’t have many personal slaves, but most of the ones I have fall under the cleaner/domestic category. This one was a good boy and I had high hopes for him. Things with him did not work out largely due to scheduling constraints, but I had encouraged him to go out and keep on pursuing the D/s lifestyle. I really did believe that something would click for him since he was so eager to please and genuinely submissive.
    Turns out he recently got collared by one of the attending Mistresses there! What a lucky boy. Dreams do come true. I’m really quite happy for him. I guess I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic when it comes to BDSM.
    He did fuck up his eye aversions at the very last minute, so I guess some things never change…
  • I used slave d as a human ashtray outside. I love outdoors play! Bettie Bondage was laughing because each time I spit at him, he dove his eager mouth for it like a frog catching a fly, ha!

Overall, a pretty swell night. Most nights at Eyes Wide Shut usually are.

The Ladies in attendance last night were Eden Winter, Skin Diamond, Jewell Marceau, Porcelain Midnight, Bettie Bondage, Aine Patrick, and Hannah Hunt.


A scat play primer, or why some people like to eat shit

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I shit on a lot of people. And I mean that in a very literal sort of sense. I take off my panties, I squat over the slave (usually their mouth), and I take a big fat dump on top of them, typically aiming for the mouth. Most slaves usually aim for full consumption, meaning that they try to swallow my doodoo. I do this quite frequently. On my busiest weeks, I have shat on a new person every single day of the week! Scat play is easily one of my most requested interests.

You could say it’s a bit of a specialty of mine. And happily so! I think it’s hilarious to shit on people, and I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined being paid handsomely for it. I genuinely believe I was meant to shit on men. I know that childhood vanilla An Li (before she became An Li) would be so proud of Daddy An Li today.

I’ve been meaning to write this article for a while, since I always get questions about this particular fetish once I make it known that I partake in this sort of play. So here ya go!

What is full toilet training?

Full toilet training (FTT or FT) is also known as hardsports (HS), scat play, or more formally, coprophilia (copro). It is the particular use of defecation within BDSM, be it on someone, around someone, etc. The poop itself often comes with euphemistic names such as caviar/kaviar, fudge, chocolate, or really whatever you’d like to call it. The “full” within “full toilet training” specifically denotes scat within the play, whereas “toilet training” can be a more ambiguous term intended for either piss and/or shit.

As a general whole, when somebody asks for toilet training, I assume they are asking for full toilet training. Most people who ask for just piss typically use the term “golden showers (GS)” or “watersports (WS)”. I feel the need to clarify this because I’ve recently had a couple of novices request toilet training under the assumption that it referred to only watersports, but this is not true. Had I not clarified with them, the results could have been potentially disastrous! Obviously, FTT is not for everyone. It’s important to specifically denote which type of activity you are asking for for that reason.

One reason it is typically referred to within a “training” context is because the activity itself is not easy. It oftentimes does require a bit more training or encouragement to swallow (if that is your particular goal), and especially so to consume a large load (which mine typically are). Most toilet slaves need multiple attempts before being able to swallow any significant portion. “Training” can also refer to the particular process of dehumanizing someone into something less than human, or a toilet. Of course, not everybody sees it like this – for some people, full toilet training can be an activity that lifts them up. For others, it is a degrading activity intended to humble and minimize themselves.

Do you shit in their mouths? How do you do that?

Typically, yes, I shit in their mouths. I largely do this because it is a preference of mine (less mess, more direct, also a lot funnier) and also because it is a common request in the realm of scat play. Not everybody asks for this. Some people want me to shit on their hands while kneeling behind me so that they can hold my shit in a reverent, kneeling manner, other people want me to shit on their cock so they can jerk off to it, other people want me to shit on a plate so that I make them eat it with a knife and fork, other people want me to mail my shit to them…the possibilities are really quite endless within scat play. Like all playtimes, it depends on the particular mood and goal of mine and the sub’s.

Forced full consumption is a common theme of hard sports, meaning they want to be made to eat all of it. This is my most popular request. Frequently, this involves some sort of bondage for an element of inescapability, consensual non-consent without a safeword, some (consensual) threats to provide a proper impetus, and a lot of patience. Admittedly, most of my subbies who ask for full consumption have trouble actually consuming all of it in part because I usually have surprisingly large loads.

I never allow direct intimate contact during FTT. Some toilet fetishists fantasize about being human toilet paper, meaning they want to wipe me clean (read: lick my dirty asshole). I don’t allow this (and also from a purely technical standpoint, a dirty shit tongue would not make for very effective toilet paper). Some shit boys also dream of me sitting directly on their faces to shit on them – also another activity I never do because of my personal preferences and hard limits. I typically use a toilet chair or squat on top of something to poop on slaves, and yes, they do see my asshole. While I don’t allow for nudity in most of my sessions, I figure that if you are going out of your way to undergo such an extreme activity as scat play, you deserve to see my asshole in the process. 😉

Isn’t scat play gross?

Yes, of course it is. It’s poop. What kind of question is that?

Luckily for my shitheads, I have a very high tolerance for gross activities. Full toilet training is not a common activity offered by many Mistresses is because it’s an inherently a hard-to-swallow activity (did you see the pun I made there?). Hardsports can be viscerally difficult to be around.

Conversely, many slaves fantasize about scat play, but when the shit hits the fan (lol), not everybody has the stomach for it (lol). It’s only natural for your body to want to reject human excrement. If this happens to you your first, second, or third time, don’t fret! This is a common response.

I typically find that the difficulty of the activity makes the appeal stronger in hindsight, even if someone vows never to try it again. Most boys I know do try it again. 😉

How do you schedule your poop? What do you eat?

Every Dominatrix who does hardsports has their own routine for this. I personally have my bowel movements scheduled to a fairly precise science. Because I require an earlier notification for all sessions (and particularly for scat play sessions), I have time to prepare my body. I have regular bowel movements during a specific time range once a day, and I work around that. I typically eat quite healthily at regular hours and drink quite a bit of water. Based on what I’ve eaten, the size of my meals, the time of my meals, my water consumption, the hours during which I go to sleep and wake up, the time of my last bowel movement, and the general feeling of my body that day (or week), I can predict when my next shit will happen.

I’ve always been a bit…anal retentive about my bowel movements. 😉

Sometimes I can’t shit on someone right on time. This is part of the nature of the game. Controlling the subconscious movements of your body is a futile game, so it’s important to know that the full toilet training may not actually occur before going into a session. I know some Dominatrices have on-call toilet slaves at their play spaces, however I do not own my own playspace and therefore it does not make financial sense to do this. Other Mistresses use shit from the day before. I don’t usually do this unless by request.

Why do people want to become a human toilet?

From my experience, human toilets can be broken down into a couple of categories. Consider it like a Venn diagram, where some people overlap and others don’t. Most people are usually some variable combination of these categories. Please keep in mind that all of my observations are anecdotal. I typically attract a certain type of Femdom audience, and what is common for me may not be common for other Mistresses. Additionally, the way I describe these categories are not hard and fast rules – they are simply my interpretations of them. Take this with a grain of salt.

The categories are as follows:

  • Humiliation.
  • Taboo.
  • Goddess worship.
  • Ass worship.
  • Intimacy.
  • Scat fetish.

If you’re an experienced toilet or toilet top and think that I am missing out on a key category, please feel free to let me know! I’d love to hear your feedback on this.


This is the most common theme for the people who come to see me. Toilet play can be, as you can probably surmise, an incredibly degrading and disgusting activity.

Think about it this way: a lot of kinksters like a bit of humiliation in their BDSM. You want to know that you’re being “naughty” and “dirty” and “filthy”. You need to be punished. Scat play is an extreme extension of that desire. Scatplay is arguably one of the deepest forms of humiliation – after all, you’re getting shat on. What could be more disgusting and repulsive on your end than becoming the receptacle of human waste? How could you get any lower than lying on the floor while a Mistress takes a dump on you?


Nearly anybody into BDSM can relate to the desire to delve into taboo. People are often into taboo activities purely because of the illicitness and stigma behind it. I see it as this way: the more we repress something, the more it shows up in more extreme ways. A dieter may deny themselves food, but may then obsess about eating for all of their waking and sleeping moments. An extremely religious person might be taught that many of their sexual desires are sinful, and then may become a nymphomaniac. Britney Spears may be told that she has to be sexy and beautiful all the time, but then may go ahead and shave off all her hair in a desperate cry against beauty norms. You get the idea. Society may tell you that something is unacceptable, and then you spend the rest of your life fantasizing about it. The moment somebody tells you no, you want it to be yes. It’s reverse psychology at its finest.

Taboo-seekers often want to push the limits of what is deemed acceptable to both themselves and others precisely because it’s looked down upon. The more extreme the activity, the better. And consuming poop can be quite an extreme activity, as you can probably imagine.

Humiliation and taboo often beget one another in this scenario. Maybe you want to be humiliated, so you partake in taboos so that you can be humiliated for it. Conversely, maybe you’re into taboos but also want to be humiliated to highlight how forbidden it is.

Goddess worship

For those that consider scat play as an uplifting activity, Goddess worship typically comes into play. If you are worshiping your Goddess, then a toilet slave who has this perspective may want to worship her in all her glory – including her shit. You may want to express your reverence for her by becoming a useful everyday item, like a toilet. Or perhaps you want to humble yourself before her (in the same way that religious devotees humble themselves by kneeling), and for you, that way of deference might be to consume the lowest of her low, her excrement. You’re adoring your Mistress when you are consuming her caviar.

Ass worship

Perhaps you’re an ass fetishist. You like touching butts, kissing butts, sniffing butts, licking and eating butts, and fucking butts. You like everything about the booty. You’ve never really quite considered scat play, but one day, you start eating ass and you realize that there’s…a little bit of shit on it. You go ahead and eat the ass, and it turns out to be quite a pleasant experience. For once, that little remnant doesn’t disgust you.

Conversely, you find yourself getting more and more turned on by it. You realize that every asshole has some amount of poop on it. You realize that part of the reason why an asshole smells the way it does is because shit passes over it. You realize that farts are really just poop air. You start connecting the dots.

One day you wake up, and you realize you want to take someone’s shit.

Ass worship can be a slippery slope. 😉


Many people crave intimacy with their Mistresses, and understandably so. You’re engaging in activities deigned alternative to the usual sexual experiences, so trust and understanding go a long way to creating a memorable time.

Being underneath a Goddess while she takes a load on you can be a remarkably sensual and bonding experience. You are watching her do an activity typically relegated behind closed doors. You’re up close and personal. You can see the asshole bulge out, listen to her sighs, groans, and grunts, and watch her wipe. It feels vulnerable underneath her, opening yourself up in this sort of manner. These are typically things most people do not get to experience within such an intimate and direct sort of way.

Scat fetish

By “scat fetish”, I mean a true obsession for shit itself. Not necessarily for the ass, for humiliation, or really anything else, but purely the shit as the object of desire unto itself. This is the most uncommon category in my experience.

If you’re reading this, hopefully you have an understanding of a fetish. Having a fetish doesn’t necessitate a particular reason or ideology. It just is. Some people like feet, some people like hair, some people like cars, some people like trees. Everybody is different, and fetishes can arise in literally any thinkable form.

A feces fetishist may be someone who gets turned on by excreta wherever and whenever it appears. I’ve met fetishists who get excited by dog waste on the street. I’ve met people who have saved their own shit for further use. For some, it doesn’t matter who left it – it just matters that it’s poo.

Ok, so I think I might understand hardsports now. But why do you do it?

I wish I had some more enlightened philosophical or poetic reason to give you here. I really do. But honestly? I do it because I find it hilarious. I find the whole process of shitting funny since my humor never really grew past a pubescent thirteen-year-old boy’s humor. I like potty jokes. I fart loudly and laugh at myself afterwards. All my friends know me as someone who obsessively describes the quality of my own shits…on a daily basis. I’m a doo-doo Daddy, it’s true.

The combination of my bathroom humor, my anal retentiveness, my emergency-room-level tolerance for filth, and my general self-amusement when I make people do silly things for me has resulted in the perfect coalescence of someone who likes to shit on men. It couldn’t be more fitting.

I remember I was ecstatic when I first became a Dominatrix and realized that I could get paid to shit on men. I had just heard of Scat Queen Delilah and knew I wanted to be exactly that. It took me over a year before I had my first full toilet training playtime, but when I came out of the room, I was so fucking proud of myself. I knew I immediately wanted to do it, and I wanted to do it often.

While I don’t consider myself a Scat Queen (that title only belongs to Delilah, and for good reason), I do consider myself a bit of a shit specialist – and I’m proud of it! It just goes to show that the world can be such a wacky and fascinating place.

Oh also! The hot photo is by David Zayas Jr.


I’m a ballbusting bully ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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An Li grabs her latex and leather gimp slave by the cock and balls. Ballbusting and CBT!

I’ve had this client on Niteflirt lately that I’ve been having a riot chatting with about ballbusting. By chatting, I mostly mean bullying.

“Mattias” has called me multiple times in the past week. He starts off like most subs who call me on Niteflirt. I ask him why he’s calling me and how he thinks he can serve me. He answers that he’s into humiliation. Humiliation, of course, can veer into many sorts of ways, so that’s really not much of a descriptor. I push him a little deeper into the conversation, and eventually it veers into ballbusting.

Now here’s where things got interesting. I told him to punch himself in the balls, and he immediately starts crying. I can imagine him crying when he does so – that sort of ugly, scrunched-up-face crying that you see on babies who have too much gas – and along with it, he does this really whiny, annoying whimper. A very “nyah-nyah-nyah, I’m a big fat baby” sort of whimper. It’s practically begging for abuse!

For those of you who don’t know, I was a bully growing up. I am not particularly proud of this (because non-consent, bullies were typically people who were bullied, yada yada), but it is true, and also it turns out that being a childhood bully is a Major Selling Point™. “She’s authentic!,” potential subs think when they are reading about my past. And to be quite frank, I have never really quite progressed outside of that bully mindset when it comes to my humor. When I try to explain my love for ballbusting to vanilla people, I usually say, “Well, it’s like watching America’s Funniest Home Videos in real time,” because anybody who has seen the show knows that half of the videos on there are Anti-Darwinian people getting their nads smacked around. It’s funny!

The reason I bring this up is because there is something about whimpering, ugly-crying submissive that automatically ticks on the “BULLY” element of my personality. I go from 0-100 in no time at all. It’s almost like I am an animal with a very high prey drive, and something has just whizzed by my vision. I practically have no choice in this! And when it’s on Niteflirt, I get to indulge the bully side of me that would be highly inappropriate and unconsensual in normal life.

So he starts ugly crying and pleading no, but obviously anybody who does that is practically asking for it, so I urge him to punch himself in the balls. “Urge” might be a bit too understated. I aggressively bark at him to punch himself in the balls again. And again. And again. I believe this lasted for 45minutes or so. I was doing errands with the slave boyfriend, so I sat in the parking lot in the car while he ran inside the mall to pick up things, and when he came back, he started laughing because I was still so viciously tearing into this crying bitch.

Of course, someone like that will keep on calling back. Mattias called me back a couple more times the days following. He had mentioned also being interested in golden showers and cum eating, but I was more focused on the ballbusting element of it. It was just too funny to hear him cry! I couldn’t…not…tell him to punch himself in the balls.

On one of the days he called me, I made him punch himself in the balls 100 times consecutively. The catch was that I would make him start over each time he wasn’t punching himself in the balls hard enough. (You guys do know that I can always tell when you wimp out on various bodily tortures over the phone, right?) So I made him start over again…and again…and again. He must’ve punched himself in the balls over three hundred times during that call (and three hundred is a safe estimate).

In the end, he was worried that he would need to go to the hospital (but then he asked if I would make the doctors punch him in the balls for me, lol). Let’s be honest here – bitches like that rarely ever punch themselves in the nads hard enough to warrant a hospital visit. It’s actually quite difficult to punch your own balls that hard unless you have them tied up and restrained in some sort of way! So I didn’t believe him. It was just another bitch whining. In any case, he was doing that ugly crying again, which to me was always a good sign…for me, at least.

The last time he called, he said he didn’t want to do any more ballbusting and then started crying when the first words out of my mouth were, “Punch yourself in the balls, idiot.” I think he genuinely thinks that the only thing we will ever do on the phone is ballbusting. I was planning on letting him cum into a glass and then piss into the glass and drink it…I just wasn’t in the mood for that yet. Also, the more somebody says no to me, the more I will do something just because I can. I guess I’m a sick fuck or something.

So, jackass, if you’re reading this, you should punch yourself in the balls for me. 😉