travel ✈︎
sf/bay feb12 - 13
Some End-of-Year musings · Daddy An Li · Los Angeles BDSM Mistress

Some End-of-Year musings

Hellooooooooo my hungry bitches! Miss me?

Some of you may know my ninth Dommeiversary was this month.

And of course, as I near nearly a decade of being very mean and bossy for a living as well as the end of 2022, I’m getting a bit nostalgic. I’ve thought a lot about who I was when I started as a Dominatrix and who I’ve turned into, and like with all parts of life, some of it has been completely expected (AKA: I’m still a badass) and some of it has been a total surprise.

I try to re-evaluate who I am as a Domme on a regular basis. There are a couple of kinks at my core, namely CBT/ballbusting, sadism of all sorts, toilet training, and bondage, but we all know that our kinks and specialties do not make the whole of who we are. There’s personality, there’s energy, there’s even the timbre of our voices. It’s a whole wide world of who we are and what we represent to the public at hand, and admittedly, a lot of it for me has been calculated marketing ultimately to funnel into the type of playtimes I love.

But like any human, we change. I remember when I started and had this prototype of a Dominatrix that I’m sure many of you had — the austere, strict, high fetish and high glamour dominatrix with high protocol and high pain. That quickly changed with my first couple years of playing when I realized that oftentimes my favorite sessions were simultaneously casual but scary, friendly but bullying, and full of laughter.

The years after baby-Domme years were spent refining that image, finally settling on a Bully-Next-Door ethos. And I think I really did a good job capturing that laidback but terrifying energy of myself! I also spent years 3-8 really focusing on developing my niches. I took a deep dive into advancing my crafts, learning to be wicked with a cane, experimenting with all sorts of over-the-top predicament bondage, and really getting my bowel movements precisely down to a science (I’m pleased to say that I have had a 100% success rate for toilet training since I re-opened sessions after the pandemic). I leaned into and polished the Bully-Next-Door voice I was putting out on social media and in video stores. My success was reflected in my earnings and popularity, and it still feels good.

Looking back on year nine, I feel a definitive sea change. In the past year, I’ve started accepting sessions that I swore to move away from in my first couple years. You might be wondering what those sessions are, given my niches. Hilariously, I found myself in extended foot worship sessions, pure verbal humiliation, and sensual domination scenes, and found myself loving them! Me, someone who enjoys pain and suffering and all the gear-heavy bells and whistles that comes with it, being oh-so-sensual? How the tables have turned.

This isn’t saying I’ve disavowed my irreverent sadist and bondage top side. Not at all! Those elements are still at my core and will never leave me (given that I was kinda born with those attributes). I am having a lot of fun with exploring this softer side of myself, though — it’s such a surprise to discover these sides of myself after being in the game for a while now.

Every year comes with unique revelations, and that’s my revelation for this year. Maybe I’m getting softer. (Probably not). Or maybe I’m just getting more facets. What new sides of myself will appear next year?

Next, a little housekeeping. Have you watched my latest interview?

Having Pro-Femdom thoughts!

I’ve enjoyed watching Evie Lupine for a couple of years now — she’s a BDSM and sex educator on Youtube, and if you’ve ever done any Youtube research on kink, you’ve probably come across her. I really enjoyed this conversation with her and talked about Femdom as a business and a lot of what I wish I would’ve done earlier on in my career as well as some thoughts about my career now.

Watch the video and let me know what you think! Also, if you want to watch and/or listen to other interviews, take a look at my Press page for more (free) thoughts and opinions.

Finally, the winter holidays are quickly upon us, and despite Christmas being two days away, all times are a great time to celebrate your favorite daddy.

My favorite gift is cold, hard cash. You might call it unromantic but I call it pragmatic. What could be more thoughtful than contributing to my life in a tangible way? With my six-figure dungeon build upon me, I’m going to need all the support I can get. If you already have access to my personal payment accounts, feel free to send me a little thank you there. Otherwise, the tribute buttons on my SextPanther, LoyalFans, and OnlyFans are always open for you to say hello.

(By the way, have I mentioned that LoyalFans is my preferred fansite right now? It is currently $5 cheaper than my OF, and if you have an active subscription on my OF, I will send you a free subscription to my LF.)

I’ve also semi-recently started a WishTender, and it’s a perfect way to contribute to my regular monthly bills and make yourself visible in my life.

For those who would like to give me a lil’ something-something before a playtime, caviar from Marshallberg Farm or vegan chocolates can never go wrong!

For those of you admiring from afar who are of more the physical present type, peruse my Amazon Wishlist, and don’t forget to include your name or username so that I can send you a thank you afterwards.

And finally, I know you sluts love a gift list, so here are some more options:

  1. Hush 2 by Lovense bluetooth vibrating butt plug — my last ones broke! All sizes, please. Everybody has a different sized hole 😉
  2. Gush by Lovense bluetooth vibrating glans massager — this one is new to me, but I can see this being particularly torturous in an edging scene.
  3. Edge 2 by Lovense bluetooth prostate massager — are you getting a theme here yet? Daddy loves distance domination.
  4. ElectraStim AXIS Luxury Electro Stimulator — this was the only gift I did not receive out of my wishlist last year! Who doesn’t love electro toys?
  5. A fucking machine! Daddy’s new dungeon will need one. I have to admit that I do not have any preferences for brand or make — as long as it is sturdy and reliable. Some examples include Maestro Multi Faceted Fucking Machine or Hismith Premium Sex Machine(bluetooth-enabled!)

With all of that wrapped up, I hope you guys have a wonderful holiday season and an even better new year. I will see y’all on the flip side. x