Los Angeles Asian Dominatrix An Li with her slave in leather restraints bondage. Visiting Europe summer 2018!

Europe Summer 2018: London, Amsterdam, Bruges

Posted Posted in Blog, Travel

Hello subbies, slaves, and sluts in Europe (and elsewhere)!

A little bit late updating on my end, but I’m quite excited about my upcoming Europe tour this summer! I’ll be visiting London, Amsterdam, and Bruges. Some of it is play, some of it is vacation, but I’m certain I’ll be having loads of fun.

I’m sure you’re eager to know when I’ll be in Europe, so here you go:
London: July 24th to July 27th
Amsterdam: July 30th to August 4th
Bruges: August 4th to August 7th

As some of you may recall, I visited London in 2016 for a whole month and had a blast! I shot with English Mansion, danced at Torture Garden, went to LAM, and made friends with all sorts of ministers in the community, from Pro-Dommes to lifestylers to everything else in between. I love London because the BDSM scene is particularly vibrant – where else can you find a four story church filled with fetish wares once a month? Outside of that, I adore London as a city. With all its parks, museums, and history, it’s the perfect balance of metropolitan life. I actually contemplated moving there after my last month there…Needless to say, I’m back and excited to do it all over again. This time, I will be attending Pedestal on July 26th, visiting the Tate Modern (contemporary art museums are my favorite) as well as the Wellcome collection, and of course hobnobbing with all the finest Pro-Dommes London has to offer. I’ll also be shooting with English Mansion yet again – I loved shooting with them last time, so fingers crossed the weather lets up for an equestrian scene of some sort!

After London, I will be taking some personal time off while I visit friends in Southwest England visiting beaches and hiking. While this is private time, I may be open to a cash meetup or two. Entice me.

Amsterdam will definitely be a bit more of a vacation after the whirlwind of London. I fully intend to immerse myself in more museums and will probably spend most of the time wandering the canals and relaxing. Of course, I will be taking a long visit to Demask headquarters! How could I not?

Finally, Bruges in Belgium will wind down the last bit of my trip. I’ve been told it’s a quieter city, which is perfectly fine by me as I am fully expecting to be exhausted by the end of my trip. I’ll be relaxing and enjoying the sights, maybe keeping a boy tied up in bondage in the hotel room while I do tourist things. 😉

I’ve been itching to leave the country for a bit, and a good mix of BDSM and European sightseeing will be a great balance. And of course, I will be taking sessions in all of these cities. Dream of being tied up in immobilized bondage in my living room while I go on a shopping trip on your credit card? Itching for a hard caning that will leave your bum sore for weeks to come? Jerk off to the fantasy of my ass on your face? Want to be cuckolded and humiliated while I fuck a real man? Crave that early morning caviar that only a Mistress like me could offer? All of this and more could be you…

Of course, early bookings are always prioritized. The earlier, the better – once I’m packed, I’m packed, and I will not be able to accommodate specific outfit or gear requests outside what I am already bringing. I will not be taking same day bookings at all while I am in town. Deposits required.

My next trip to Europe is not confirmed, however expect me back by 2020.

Book your session now.

xoxo Never yours,
An Li

Can I be your slave? AKA the various types of bottoms in BDSM

Posted Posted in Blog

TLDR: No, and also, you probably aren’t actually a slave.

(Before you get too excited about the title, this is not a blog post about derrieres.)

Here’s the set of recent tweets that inspired this post:

And here’s the long-winded explanation. Are you ready? Ok, here we go!

As a professional Dominatrix with a not-that-small following, I get asked this question every. Single. Day. I’ve decided to embark on this blog post largely so that I can direct fawning would-be/could-be subbies to an answer that I do not need to repeatedly type over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again…you get the idea.

I think most people have an idea of what a slave is within BDSM, correct? We imagine a naked bitch on his knees, crawling around on the floor on leash and collar while being led around by a delightfully dominant women in patent leather thigh high boots and a corset, perhaps being whipped or perhaps cleaning her boots with some humiliating tongue service. Maybe he only drinks water out of a dog bowl, or maybe he’s all tied up in bondage while the Mistress has her way with his body. The variations are endless, but ultimately the basic premise is this: a submissive man enacts kinky fantasy ideals with the hot Domme who is way out of his league.

Sounds great, right? What a wonderful idea for a slave! You get to do all these perverse, nasty, kinky things with a Woman you might not otherwise be sexually affiliated with, enacting out all your deepest, darkest, dirtiest secrets!

However, while the Domme may be calling you a slave in the scene, this does not necessarily mean you are a slave.

Confused already? Let’s back up a minute and go over the various designations of bottoms with BDSM.

First off, I am defining bottom as someone on the receiving end of the fetish activity, be it bondage (rope bottom), spanking (spankee), Dominance/submission (submissive or slave), sadomasochism (masochist), feeding (feedee), humiliation (bitch – I’m joking, I don’t actually know the official name of one who gets humiliated) and the list goes on and on. Not all bottoms are slaves, but all slaves are bottoms. More on that in a bit. Bottom would then be the wide umbrella category for those recipients of the activity or object, whereas the direct opposite would be a top – the facilitator of said activity or object. Rope top for bondage, spanko for spanking, Dom(me) for Dominance/submission, sadist for sadomasochism, feeder for feeding, humiliatrix for humiliation, etc.

As you are beginning to see, there are innumerable types of bottoms within BDSM and also probably more growing every day! (If you can think of it as a fetish, it probably already exists…) However, it’s crucially important to understand that there is a difference between all these categorizations. Just because I am a Dominatrix and Mistress does NOT mean that every person I play with is a slave. In fact, far from it – I would argue that the vast majority of my clients are not slave-material.

“But he likes to get beat/tied-up/fucked! Surely he must be a slave.” Not necessarily so. Perhaps he purely enjoys the adrenaline rush of pain but micro-manages the top to beat him precisely how he wants to to be beaten. Is that Dominance and submission? (This is a masochist.) Maybe he loves the sensation of being fully suspended in shibari but doesn’t really care who ties him up. (This is a rope bottom.) Or what if he just really enjoys seeing the image of women in strap-on and loves being taken from behind but doesn’t really like being told what to do? (This is a fetishist, and also a slut, ha!) Are any of these scenarios actually D/s? Just because they contain a fetish activity does not mean that there is an actual power exchange in the intent. In actuality, the bottom is the one directing the action in order to fulfill a specific fetish.

Do you see yourself in any of these? Do you find yourself trying to top from the bottom in order to fulfill a very specific fantasy of yours? Do you not care about who is doing said activity as long as they are hot and you have an ass/nylons/cock/feet/(your specific fetish here) in your face? Then the likelihood is extremely high that you are not actually a submissive nor slave.

But what if you find yourself wanting to obey under very specific situations? For example, you find yourself absolutely weak at the knees when you see a fit woman in workout gear and will do practically anything she says. As another example, you put on a sensory deprivation hood and immediately fall under subspace, pliable and willing to do whatever it takes to please the one controlling your vision. And yet another example, you automatically obey anyone who takes on a stern-yet-nurturing Mommy-type role with you. And as a final example, during sex, you always let the woman take control.

In all these situations of obeisance under specific criteria, I would then define you as a submissive (perhaps with fetishistic/masochistic/whatever leanings). You are willing to submit to the right person at the right time with the correct environmental or social impetus, an impetus that is defined purely by your personal preferences. For the first example, the impetus is workout gear. For the second example, the impetus is sensory deprivation/bondage. For the third example, the impetus is a Mommy. For the fourth example, the impetus is sex (and your dumb boner).

Are you starting to get a feel for where I’m headed? No? Ok.

Here’s where we get into the nitty gritty of how I personally define the difference between a submissive and slave. A true slave exists a little further down on the spectrum of submission. A true slave does not need any impetus outside of the pure joy of serving a Mistress. Sure, you may be submissive, but if your submission comes with conditions – conditions that are not conducive towards me or whichever Mistress from which you are requesting attention – then is that truly a Total Power Exchange (TPE)? A mistress cannot be expected to live out her entire life under your conditions just to have your submission. You cannot expect to see her dressed up in fetish gear and enacting your specific fantasy 24/7 just so you can feel all lightheaded and woozy in desire – because once she’s no longer a figment of your fantasy, would you serve her? Would you be willing to do “whatever she wants” when she’s in her sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt sitting on the couch watching cartoons? Would you be willing to do “whatever she wants” when what she’s asking for does not align with your idea of a sexy fun time, like scrubbing the bathroom tile with a toothbrush? And would you be willing to do “whatever she wants” even if you know you have to actually work hard and dedicate actual time (like – gasp! – a job!) to do it?

If your answer to all those previous questions is yes, then congratulations! You are a slave. You are submissive under your Mistress’ personal specifications, even if they don’t give you a boner. You understand that the Mistress has a life of her own that does not exist within your specific fantasies, and you still adore and obey her nonetheless. You are happy to submit to her even when the going gets rough because you know your happiness is truly your Mistress’ happiness. You are far and few, and I enjoy you quite a bit.

A caveat: a person can be submissive to one Mistress and slave to another. D/s is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Everybody’s personal interactions are unique and different throughout time and space. Maybe you’ve found a Mistress (Let’s call her Miss A) whose personal fetishes – the things she is naturally predisposed to in her private life – are truly your personal fetishes and you are a match made in BDSM heaven. Say it’s foot worship – you’ve always needed foot worship to feel submissive, and Miss A genuinely gets off on a good foot rub. In which case, you might be the ideal slave for her! After all, she always has your impetus at hand (or foot 😉 ), and to her, she’s not catering to you at all but rather fulfilling her own fantasies. Both party’s desires are perfectly compatible and conducive towards a blossoming power dynamic. But say you approach another Mistress (Miss B) and tell her that you served Miss A. Miss B takes you on, but it turns out she absolutely hates foot worship and finds you a reprehensible slave because you insist on worshiping her feet each time. Turns out that you have always been on the more submissive side, but with the right relationship with Miss A, you were a slave. Go figure!

Now I’m not telling you to go out and be a slave for every Mistress. Far from it. Attraction and respect are important, and if you were a slave for every woman you met on the street, I would probably call you a pushover with poor standards 😂😂😂 An inherent attraction and connection to your Mistress is important because it develops rapport and trust – and only through that can true growth happen. (And you do want true growth, right? Did you expect to be the same person you were at the end of a D/s relationship?) It’s perfectly alright to not be a slave for everyone, and I won’t think any of less of you for it. Different strokes for different folks, after all.

Additionally, despite being a true slave, you are also allowed to have boundaries (…depending on who your top is). I mean, we do live in reality, and for most, 24/7 slavery is a pipe dream because at some point we’ve all got vanilla obligations. Only when your “boundaries” are actually defining factors for how the scene runs (IE: asking your Mistress to be in leather at all times is not a boundary but a preference) do you stop falling under the category of a slave. Make sense?

Another caveat: these designations are not hard and fast because we are all (for the most part) multi-faceted people. A slave can also be a fetishist , a power bottom can have submissive leanings, etc. You get the idea.

In fact, if by the end of this, you realize that you are not a slave, that is totally fine as well! BDSM should be inclusionary and we all have different niches that we fill – there will always be someone whose needs may align well with yours, be they slave, submissive, power bottom, fetishist, masochist, whatever. I personally hold no ill will to anybody who doesn’t identify as a slave, because sometimes I don’t feel like being purely a Dominant (I know, gasp gasp – but don’t get it twisted, I am always a top). Everybody goes to fetish providers for various reasons, neither being particularly better than the other, but it is helpful to know where you stand within the wide spectrum of BDSM designations so that you may better inform the Dominatrix with whom you’d like to play.

So what did we learn today?

Not all submissives are slaves. All slaves are submissives. All slaves and submissives are bottoms. Slaves are those who will submit to their Dominant in full (or as full as reality lets them), regardless of whether it gets their personal rocks off or not. Submissives are those that have criteria towards what makes them feel submissive to their dominant.

Got it. Good. Now that you’ve got that all settled up, you’ll be fully prepared to answer your designation should anyone ask this of you! (And if you are applying for a session with me, it’s right there in the form, so shame on you if you are still lost after reading this…)


Did something about this article pique your interest? Want to learn more about me?

Book your session now.

xoxo Never yours,
An Li

Now introducing…domination specials for practice dummies!

Posted Posted in Blog

I know, I know. I have always said that domination is a luxury and that I will never do special rates for anybody or any activity. I still believe it, however…there are always activities I would love more practice on!

Given that my personal practice interests tend to be on the heavier side of things, I don’t get as much play and practice with these activities as I would like and am now offering specials to be my test dummies for a couple of specific activities. These activities are currently single-tail whippingsuturing (medical play), and rope suspension bondage. From month to month, I may change up which activities are available for practice dummy rates depending on my mood or comfort with these activities.

So here’s what you probably want to know the most: how much of a discount is it? These sessions will be a whopping $100 off the hourly tribute (which, if you have sessioned with me, you will know is quite a significant price difference).

Here are the requirements to fall under test dummy session:

  1. The session must consist solely of the single activity you have requested. This means it will be entirely single-tail whipping, or entirely suturing, or entirely rope suspension bondage. There will be no variant or multiples upon these activities (ie: I will not do a session of both whipping or suturing, or whipping and rope suspension, etc.)
  2. The session does not involve any other fetish activities or requests. Anything will fall in the realm of standard session tribute.
  3. The session is a one-hour minimum session.

A caveat: since these are purely practice dummy sessions, I will not be dressing up in fancy domination gear as this is my own personal practice time. It will just be me, wonderfully plain ol’ me in street clothes and my devious self. And also, to reiterate: I will not be accepting any requests for fetishes outside of the prescribed test dummy activities as the session will immediately become normally tributed.

Since these are heavier sessions, please ensure that you are in good health before enquiring about these specific activities. Should you safeword out of practice dummy-ing, the session will end at my discretion. I have no intention of wasting my time by  going lightly (particularly with single-tailing).

Here are some more details on what I’m looking for in practice dummy applicants:

  • Single-tail whipping: high pain tolerance (or the willingness to reach that 😉 ), no previous issues with fainting or epilepsy, ability to take marks on back, ass, and genitalia
  • Suturing: high pain tolerance for needles, ability to take sutures on genitalia/crotch region, chest/belly, and although not necessarily, would love to be able to suture your lips! If you are open to suturing in even more areas (hands, toes, whatever), even better. I will be removing the sutures at the end. Obviously, no fear of needles…
  • Rope suspension bondage: flexible with no joint or mobility issues. Please stretch thoroughly before coming to see me.

That’s it for now! Should I think of anything else to add on to my requirements or limitations, I will be editing this post at a later date. Standard booking procedure applies.

Sounds like this is up your alley? Well then, I’m looking forward to using your flesh…

Book your session now.

xoxo Never yours,
An Li

Thanksgiving doubles with Domina Yuki in SF/OAK

Posted Posted in Travel


I’m excited to announce doubles with Domina Yuki in San Francisco and Oakland from November 21st to 26th for my upcoming fall trip to the Bay Area!

I first met Domina Yuki earlier this year, after a seemingly endless amount of correspondence while we tried to meet up each time I was in the Bay Area. I’m glad we finally did as we had been following each other on Twitter and admiring each other’s work for quite some time. Upon meeting, we both realized we had a very shared history in numerous ways…but that is a story for another time.

For those not in the know, Domina Yuki is a well-established presence in the Bay Area Femdom scene, having been a practitioner of Female Domination for a decade. Her skillset is vast and confident, and I’m excited to play with her as our interests are remarkably similar! We are both sensory overload gearheads with predilections for bondage of all sorts and a natural proclivity towards sadism. We both attest to the merits of female supremacy. We both have wicked wardrobes. And of course, we both love subjugating men under our heels through whatever means necessary! I cannot wait to see what sorts of predicaments we trap our slaves with – and I am certain we will be giggling in delight the entire time.

For those lucky to have played with both of us, now is your chance to partake in a devilishly doubles delight. Our interests are not limited to those listed above – from a sensual seduction to a strict savagery, part of the fun in Domination is our protean manipulation to bring you down to a quivering mess. Tell us your secrets, and we’ll show you how deep that rabbithole goes…

Book your session now.

xoxo Never yours,
An Li

London BDSM Sessions

Posted Posted in Travel

London!

I have arrived in you safe and sound (and a little bit wet), and I am ready to put you in your place. I will be in town for a little over a month, taking appointments from Thursday, June 16th, to Saturday, July 16th – plenty of time for you to get your fix more than once. I will be holding sessions in or adjacent to Central London at assorted private playspaces. Please note that, per usual, I will be require deposits for all sessions.

For the first half of My stay in June, I am being hosted by Asian Goddess Maya Liyer. We will be shooting and taking double sessions, as well as exploring the city together. Inquire via My contact page about how you may enhance My stay and serve Us.

Let’s not forget about July – For the second half of My stay, I will be hosted by Mistress Evilyne, hardsports Domina extraordinaire! Scat Queens unite! Perhaps you will be lucky enough to submit underneath Us as Our personal toilet. Dream of having two Goddesses use you for Our excretory entertainment? Now is the time…

And for the entirety of the month, I will be exploring London and its illustrious BDSM social scene. Fancy taking Me out for a nice dinner and a night on the town? Outcall social sessions are also available upon request. Spoil and lavish Me for a night you surely will not forget. And how could you? A Mistress like Me is not all too common…

You may get in touch with Me via Niteflirt (1-800-863-5478 ext: 10251003) or My new London appointment line, 07427915751. Please note that for the latter, this line is only available for session inquiries  from 9AM to 9PM. Any further chit chat is to be conducted through My tributed Niteflirt line.

Let’s make My first London trip a memorable one.

Book your session now.

xoxo Never yours,
An Li

East Coast & Europe Travels

Posted Posted in Travel

Darling submissives, slaves, masochists, fetishists, and lurky-lurks –

East Coast spring sessions are coming up in a little over a week! I am taking My inaugural trip to Washington, D.C. from April 26th to May 2nd, and then hopping on over to New York City from May 3rd to May 10th. Two whole weeks on the other side of the States…take it in while you can.

As it is My first time traveling DC, I am highly encouraging public dining and play sessions. An evening or afternoon of fine dining and wining, followed by private play at My space – what could be more memorable?

I will be taking my sessions at a private space in Bloomingdale, Washington DC, right in the heart of the district.

For NYC, I will be taking My sessions in Manhattan at Parthenon close to Herald Square, as well as another private space to be announced.

And of course, let’s not forget London! I will be flying over to the other side of the pond to the United Kingdom from June 15th to July 15th – one entire month of sessions in Europe! I will be taking My sessions at various playspaces throughout the city, and am currently leaning towards Hoxton Dungeon Suites for most of My playtimes. I am also open to suggestions. Again, since it will be My first time in London, I am also highly encouraging dine and play sessions. Take Me out and show Me around a new city.

Please alert Me of all your special requests as early as possible. While I’d love to carry all My gear wherever I go, I do have to pack relatively efficiently. Any unique needs should be noted and packed as early as possible.

I can’t wait and am absolutely tingling with excitement at all the deviousness to come!

Book your session now.

xoxo Never yours,
An Li