For the past two months, I’ve had a very good boy in chastity, both physical and mental. He had approached me about his uncontrollable masturbatory urges, and under my guidance, he has not masturbated the entire time. I’ve allowed release of sorts, but they have not been phallus-oriented at all. After all, sexual pleasure always starts in the mind first.
Chastity is one of my favorite forms of play. Keyholding an excellent way of playing with someone from afar (important during this pandemic era) and a fun way to stay enmeshed in somebody’s mind even when you are not there. Men are so frequently controlled by their sexual urges, and we all know these urges cause them to make many, many stupid choices. Keeping a chastity device on a man ensures that those sexual urges are kept within my reign, so at least those stupid choices are ones of my choosing. 😉
Men are easy to control once you have control of their cocks.
With that in mind, I find mental reprogramming to be one of the most entertaining aspects of chastity. Introducing new fetishes to an already horny, pent up brain is so easy. Convincing the poor chastised fellow to explore embarrassingly humiliating activities is a snap. Making him become the slut he never thought he could be is a close reality.
Back to the boy in chastity. I call him ob, short for “overalls bitch” (yes, he does have an overalls/shortalls fetish). I’ve been ordering ob to regularly journal about his experiences since he has started serving me. I love reading my submissives’ journal entries because it’s a great way for me to explore their mind and understand them better, and also it’s an excellent outlet for them to understand themselves as well. I’m a huge advocate of journaling in nearly every single situation.
And these journal entries… I’ve been having a delight reading them and knowing that I, as his key holder, am the sole cause of all his depravities. Seeing how his mind has been changing these past couple of weeks. Watching him delve deeper and deeper into the depths of perversion. Turning him out into a true, degenerate slut. What joys!
Enough of my description. I’ll just let you read his submission journal now. Enjoy!
Submission Journal – Lunch with Daddy 07.30.2020
It has been 41 days and almost 16 hours at the time of this writing since I have been allowed to orgasm or even touch myself. I awoke wearing my new Carhartt WIP overalls and black muzzle with a painful erection in chastity this morning. Daddy had instructed me to lock myself the prior to sleeping last night, and I was able to calm myself and get my cage on in about 15 minutes. I was told I had 30 minutes, and I put the yellow sticky reading “Daddyʼs Little Cocksucker” next to my caged clit, which Daddy reminded me is all I have today.
The morning didn’t start off well when I was informed my brotherʼs schedule had cleared this morning and he would be at home until noon. I still set about everything, not quite knowing when I would have the opportunity to sneak out. I had already tried to get my chastity on once I was wearing my new plug harness and getting the larger ring of the harness over my chastity, and neither had worked.
After my shower, I carefully dried my device, with a piece of toilet paper inside the cage at the tip, and lubed up the vibrating plug and used the same purple rope to harness the plug to me. I am getting better at tying the rope harness, and this secured the plug deeper inside of me while I was walking, although in all instances Iʼve worn this plug it is all the way at depth while sitting. Today I could feel the tip against my prostate as I walked, depending on the position of the plug / rope at that moment.
I put on the dri-fit t-shirt I had picked out and basketball shorts and went and sat down at the kitchen table. The angle of the high-top seats drive the plug deep and I was adjusting it in my ass as he walked downstairs, lol. He was heading down to work out and I saw my opportunity. Once he was downstairs and the music was going, I went upstairs and put on my leather shortalls, heading out the garage door.
I texted Daddy and I was on my way. The seat in my ** presses hard against the plug while I drive, meaning I feel every little bump and dip in the road in my asshole. It was not as bad as the last time I drove to the same mall, but it was still unpleasant. I knew where I wanted to go in the mall, but that did mean I needed to walk all the way across the mall to get there from where I parked. I could have parked on that side, but chose to park as far from my destination as possible.
The looks that you get when youʼre wearing leather shortalls are frequent, but brief. I have zero conversational evidence of this, but Iʼm convinced that people are 100% certain Iʼm gay, and may think it insensitive to stare, although plenty of people do that too. My leather shortalls fit me very well, except the bib / back is too wide, that close to perfection. The feeling of the fabric, even though it is fake, turns me on. It has a certain stretch / feel when it is cold, similar to when it hangs in my air-conditioned closet. When the fabric gets hot it has this wonderful warm feel that is distinguishably different and the fabric stretches slightly more.
I’ve discovered through this process that I am much more an exhibitionist than I thought. The excitement I have from wearing a plug in public is something. More than that, I’ve discovered how things I wasnʼt really into but maybe fantasized about sometimes when I was very horny are deep sexual desires. I really have not been into anal play in the past; I am currently craving, and have been for weeks, to have my asshole filled / vibrated. The mere thought makes me press hard against my cage.
As I’ve mentioned to Daddy, I’ve had two cocksucking dreams in three nights, which is now five. I think the desire to have my ass and mouth stuffed is a psychological reaction from accepting that my clit is no longer a cock, to be used like a man’s organ. When pleasure is taken from the one instrument of sexual pleasure I have ever indulged, it really only took maybe 4 weeks for me to seek sexual pleasure in another way, namely through both of my holes. I’ve accepted taking pleasure from others cumming inside of me, rather than me being allowed to cum, I am never allowed to cum.
The treasure hunt was relatively uneventful, which was a fear of mine since the moment Daddy mentioned it. It was the case that everyone in the store looked at me holding a pair of womenʼs overalls, shortalls, and a white and green striped skirtall. Just another adult male in leather shortalls and sandals, taking selfies holding other pairs of overalls, a relatively normal Thursday morning at the mall? I knew my choice of mall was the true saving grace – the other malls in ** do not have the same mix of staff / shoppers in terms of social norms. I was glad Daddy didn’t make me purchase any overalls for her, that would have been a far more intimate interaction.
With my task complete, I headed to lunch at **. The walk to the restaurant was full of more double takes. The hostess asked me if I would prefer indoor or outdoor seating and I asked for outdoor. I carefully sat down, allowing the plug to push 100% to depth as I sat, which made me press against my cage as the hostess handed me the menu.
The server said hello and took my drink / food order and then after it was delivered I connected with Daddy. She looked so perfect in the A&F overalls I had paid for her to wear on our lunch date. After being denied for more than 40 days, the stimulation at the moment was overwhelming. My clit was pressing against my cage, the plug was at depth and the vibrations were constant for the entire time Daddy and I were on Skype. The feeling of the faux leather and the resistance from the bib and straps of my shortalls as well as Daddy dressed so sexy for me made my clit twitch and tingle.
This was the part of the day I was most nervous about – what would Daddy say in public and how many people would hear. I knew what I was in for when the first thing she said was, “Hi overalls bitch, look at you dressed in your pervert overalls!” The social distanced nature of the lunch meant that other tables had trouble hearing me, but the servers did come to the table twice when Daddy was saying something terribly embarrassing and I saw a laugh and smile from one of them one time.
Once, the server looked like they would come to the table as Daddy said something to the effect of, “What we really need is for you to suck the cock of a man in overalls, it would be such easy access with the zipper on the front.” The sexual rush from hiding so many things for so long, then being caged and plugged in public, and being publicly reminded that you are a dirty cocksucker while dressed like a pervert is something I will always remember, the intensity still lingers in my mind.
I paid the bill and stood up, carefully to make sure the plug did not fall out, as it continued to vibrate. The walk through the mall on the way out wasnʼt bad, the mall was quite a bit busier now. I paid the parking and headed to my ** to drive home. The seat in my ** pushes the plug I am wearing that day to depth, and I filled my cage as I sat down.
The drive home was the same 35 minutes of bouncing and thrusting on the plug, and I kept touching the fake leather fabric of the bib as I drove. I knew I was about to have an expensive afternoon but I was going to get to see Daddy wearing all kinds of overalls for me. We had confusion about what it means to be “plugged in” but after clearing that up, the Skype time was on.
Daddy answered again in the A&F overalls from lunch. For the duration of this session, each time Daddy touched her overalls, changed out of them, buckled in / out, touched herself, pulled the overalls over her ass or walked with the computer staring at her bibbed chest, I pushed hard against my cage. I was stiff inside my metal prison for 1 hour and 8 minutes.
The fit of basically every pair was totally amazing, we were both very happy about that. Seeing Daddy wearing all of those overalls was unbelievable, the dark flared leg Madewell and pink satin overalls, of course, stood out. The pink satin overalls selfie I received after our session has been something I have looked at no fewer than 15 times a day since Thursday.
Our time was up and I said goodbye, wanting it to go on forever, of course. I had a fantastic remainder of my day, thinking of my day with Daddy often throughout. It was the culmination of two fantasies. The first, and most intense, is my desire to have zero control over what I wear for that day. Daddyʼs overalls fetish uniquely positions her to accomplish this in a way that I have dreamed about for a very long time.
The second, less intense and more terrifying fantasy is to have my overalls fetish outed in a public, yet discreet and totally embarrassing way. If I’m plugged and caged, all the better. I have referenced this several times in my shopping with Daddy fantasies.
All in all, fantastic day that I will never forget. On both of our Skype session days, my mood is euphoric afterwards and during. My mood naturally is somewhat depressed the next day but not in a way that is worrying or impactful at all, and totally expected given the high of the high from the days before.
Sup sluts? A little housecleaning today while I update you on bits of my Femdom life. I know many of you have been starving for new posts, so here it is, finally.
First off, I would like to congratulate myself for finally hitting my goal amount of income worked via online work!
The first couple of months of COVID-19 were really tough as I scrambled to transition my realtime work to online (and lost 2/3 of my income in the process), but I’m happy to say that I’ve finally started recouping some of the losses!
I set a goal for myself two years ago to hit a certain amount per month via online domination alone, and I had a vague suspicion that I had reached it already. I’m pretty good with numbers and am always adding up my income subconsciously, so I finally did the math today and confirmed that !yes!, I have indeed hit my goal amount!
I’m feeling pretty fucking baller today.
With that in mind, you can be one of my many online minions serving me from a safe social distance. I’ve been the top 20 on SextPanther all month (and for good reason, duh). Come drop by and give me a text hello. Give me a call on Niteflirt to hear me tell you to repeatedly punch your balls again and again. Join my OnlyFans and AVN Stars for exclusive BTS, photos, pics, and videos you can’t find anywhere else. Or just lurk from afar by purchasing clips and tributing on Clips4Sale or IWantClips.
Truly, the number of venues I’ve created for bitches to adore me from afar is more than generous. I’m a magnanimous bitch, what can I say?
As noted by the banner in my menu bar, I am still not taking realtime BDSM sessions in Los Angeles. Coronavirus rates have been going up, and a lot of you are old fucks who are in the dubious age range or young fucks who have been reckless with your “quarantine” (if this sounds like I’m shaming you, yes, I am).
Also, check out my interview on DommeAddiction if you haven’t seen it already. This came out two months ago but I’ve just added it to my press page today. My press page is a great place to check out a lot of other interviews I’ve done, by the way. People sure love to interview a Dominatrix.
And finally, the most important bit of news: I turn 30 at the end of this month! While my favorite present has typically been realtime sessions up the wazoo, this unfortunately is less applicable in this current climate. I do expect all of my devoted subbies to make up for it in one way or another, either by binging on my fetish clips stores, calling me on Niteflirt to sing me happy birthday, sending me silly happy birthday video texts via SextPanther, sending me tributes and giftcards, or buying me presents off my Amazon Wishlist. I know you’re all up for the task. 😉
All this time spent social distancing and isolating from coronavirus has me on edge. I’ve never spent so much time without sessioning since the entire duration of my ProDomme career, and it’s really made my imagination run wild. I didn’t think I could miss Domination so much, but I suppose distance makes the heart fonder…
With that in mind, I’ve been compiling a list of activities I am looking forward to once COVID-19 quarantine restrictions ease up city, county, state, and country-wide.
Public humiliation! In particular, I very much want to bring an eager crossdresser to the strip club, dolled and slutted up in excess while wearing a tight chastity device and a remote control vibrating butt plug. I take my sissy’s wallet and make it rain on some hardworking women using the her cash. I get loads of lap dances in front of the sissy, effectively cuckolding my embarrassed crossdresser. And of course, I’ll occasionally zap her ass, reminding her who’s in charge.
Heavy medical play. I still haven’t broken in my Howie lab coat and I’d love to use it on a heavily invasive medical session. Foley catheters, enema punishments, saline inflations, and of course, lots and lots and lots of needles.
Extended mummification. Layers of vet wrap, saran wrap, duct tape, or ACE bandage. Slow, methodical, sexy mummification perfectly fitted to the body. Straws and breathing tubes to facilitate breathing. Perfectly layered strips running parallel and tight along the body. I want to really take my time and perfect the mummification to create a perfect little alien gimp…
As per usual, PAIN AND SUFFERING. I pity the fool who is the first to see me for a CBT session. It won’t just be cock and ball torture – it will be a cock and ball apocalypse. Corporal punishment? How about a complete flaying of the cutaneous layers? I might not be able to hold back. Who knows how much sadist energy has been pent up in me. (I’m joking, of course. I always work within one’s hard limits. But really…)
Elaborate BDSM. I’m talking about using all the toys, all the techniques, all the everything! I’m such a gearhead and I miss playing with dungeon furniture and all the accouterments that come with BDSM. I’m already a pretty elaborate player to begin with (which is why I often make submissives clean with me after our session – it typically looks like a landmine went off in a BDSM closet), but I think I really might just go to excess once I’m back in the studio again.
In the meantime, my online sessions will suffice. I’ve actually been having a lot of fun dominating people on the phone via call, text, and cam. Virtual play tends to be a little bit more psychological and oftentimes more cerebral (even if the subs you’re playing with insist on being complete nincompoops), so it’s definitely been working a different part of my kinky brain.
I’ll also be on Periscope next Monday with my friends Lucy Sweetkill and Dia Dynasty for La Maison Du Rouge’s interview series. I love playing at LMDR while I’m in NYC, and both Lucy and Dia are pretty incredible women. Their LMDR interviews are fascinating and informative to watch, so be sure to tune in.
Because I’ll be joining in via Periscope rather than meeting with them in person, it’ll just be audio only on my end. Regardless, I’m sure it will be a fun time. Let me know what you think of it once it airs! xx
PS: Cookie Monster on a noose photo by David Zayas Jr.
Here’s a little overdue housekeeping, if you haven’t been all over my Twitter for the past couple of months. I’ve had a couple of fun new interviews that should sate some of your curiousity about me.
First off, some of you may have noticed a couple of new pages on my website. Right below my menu bar is a notice that realtime sessions have ceased and virtual sessions are available. Despite all the social distancing and personal quarantine, the internet is the salvation for us horny folx. I am literally a screen away for all your pervert fantasies, and I refuse to let coronavirus hold us from being perverts together. 😉
Secondly and equally as relevant, this interview for KQED by Ariella Markowitz. I suggest listening to the audio over reading the text. The audio makes a little bit more sense and some of the details get lost in writing. I had fun talking to Ariella about my transition to online work during this time of self-sequestration for COVID-19.
Moving two thirds of my income online has been a bit of a hurdle that I’ve had an interesting time maneuvering. On the one hand, I do decently well online – with clipsstores, phone calls, texting, and cam sessions, I have enough somewhat passive income (as well as a shrewd savings account) to keep me more comfortable than most. On the other hand, the first month was a bit of a shock while I came to terms with the inertia that was what felt like starting anew.
If you’re interested in taking a look at my other interviews in the past, head on over to my press page. I try to stay updated with most of my press interviews, although I’m sure some have slipped out here and there.
Third, I’ve been having such a good time DMing people on my fansites. If you’re not already following my OnlyFans or AVN Stars, I highly suggest you follow today. I’ve been posting exclusive session videos and POV’s not found on clips stores or my twitters. I also went live for the first time last week. I’m still figuring out the quirks of going live on my fansites (I much prefer individualized cam sessions face to face), but I figure it’s a fun way to keep in touch with people who can otherwise not session with me at the moment.
And that’s about it, bitches! I’ll be back in a couple of days for more smut to keep you horned up. xx
COVID-19 is everywhere in the States right now, and a quarter of Americans have been asked to stay at home. California is one of the states hit hardest with coronavirus cases, and both the city of Los Angeles and the state of California have both asked their residents to stay at home and cease all non-essential business.
I am taking this seriously, and so should you. Our current state of pandemic is such that if we do not act now, these consequences will last longer than most people have the financial capability for. And with that in my mind, I will not be taking sessions until our local, state, and federal governments have given the green light to do so.
A BDSM session is close up, intimate, and personal. Far more up-close than the 6-10 feet recommended for safe social distancing. And because of this, I do not feel right scheduling sessions knowing that I would be fully taking part in community spread. I do not currently own my own dungeon so while the playspaces I use are hygienic and rigorous in their cleaning, I am not personally overseeing all the cleaning done by every person who moves in and out and cannot vouch for a thorough sanitation.
Now don’t get me wrong – I haven’t played all week and have been absolutely itching to tear into flesh. But for the sake of our current climate, I will be abstaining until further notice. All play will be conducted online or via phone.
I know many of you have cabin fever right now. I’ve been swamped with emails in the past couple of days, with people responding to my responses at record speeds. I know a lot of you have been itching to play, to interact, to do literally anything – and with that in mind, here are a couple of opportunities to keep you and your wanking hand busy while maintaining social distance.
First off, for the most immediate personal gratification, give me a call on Niteflirt or shoot me a text on SextPanther. After all, we are in the postmodern era…what more suiting way to stay in touch with me than through digital communication? If you’re lucky, you might even get a fun video or photo from me…
If my voice and words aren’t quite enough and you need more, I’d love to dominate you via cam. I’m available for Skype sessions by appointment only. Show me yours, and I’ll show you mine.
For something a little less ephemeral, take a look at my video stores to find the jerk-off of your pleasure. Clips4Sale and IWantClips are my most popular vendors with nearly all of the fetishes I am most well known for: hardsports, CBT/ballbusting, caning, and bondage…just to list a very small few.
Want something a little bit more tailored for you? Contact me to set up the custom of your own fantasies. While I am not shooting with other ProDommes at the moment, I can shoot POV’s as well as live-action videos with my slave gimpy.
If videos aren’t your preference, how about a custom photoset? My full fetish wardrobe, gear, and your imagination to get your own personal photos. I’ve had such a blast shooting photos for clients lately including full kinky captions. Something about a limited visual media veering towards comic is so goddamned kinky…
And finally, if you just want to send a thoughtful gift in this uncertain time, all wishlist gifts and tributes do not go unnoticed. Don’t forget to leave a thoughtful message to let me know you are (gift packaging not necessary).
Don’t worry: I’ll be back to sessioning once all of this lets up. But for now, I will be staying tight at home, making you my bitch from afar.
Also, if you haven’t taken a listen at my latest interview with Loveline with Dr. Chris Donaghue for KROQ/Channel Q, check it out now. You might just learn something. 😉
PS: baby Domme rubber medical photo by Blackula from 2014 (six years ago now, wowie!). My first year as a Dominatrix.
I’ve had a busy, busy, busy week, which means lots of boner material for you degenerate sickos to jerk off to. 😉
First off, some of the screencaps from my recent shoot with Men Are Slaves are up! I had been invited by my good friend Domina Helena Locke to shoot for them last week and was excited to see what directorial wickedness she could come up with. I always have such a good time shooting with a fellow Domme at the helm because it’s a fun insight into other Mistresses’ kinky imaginations.
I had a particularly fun time during our very first scene. The premise is such: I catch a man stealing my car. I abduct him, tying him up and throwing him in the trunk of my car. The scene starts with me dragging him out, ready to punish him. A hilarious beatdown ensues (hilarious for me, at least).
I think the clips came out well! The screencaps are hot as fuck, at the very least. The sub for the scene, Rubber Camille, did a great job taking the pain and being a scared little bitch (not that he had to fake being scared…). Bullying comes naturally to me, and I love high energy humiliating beatdowns. I was really in my element. Take a watch and let me know what you think!
This past week has also been a week of pretty great articles – all the better for you to internet-stalk me with.
First off, Elise Graves wrote an excellent blog post about our first shoot together. As some of you may know, she and I have been shooting and playing with each other for the past couple of months now. She’s an incredible bondage top with a history of bottoming for some pretty hardcore scenes in the past. She had taken a break from bottoming for a couple of years and was beginning to explore it again during our shoot. I was simultaneously humbled, honored, and intimidated that she had asked me to top her for a couple of scenes, even before we had met in person. Topping someone as experienced as her can be a very big task, but I was ready to do my best.
So imagine my surprise when, during the shoot, Elise’s previously unmentioned claustrophobia begins to set in while she is spread eagle in a canvas straitjacket. I would never have expected someone with so much experience both in and out of bondage to be claustrophobic, but there it was. Life throws you curveballs sometimes. (And thinking about it in retrospect, it makes sense: perhaps being scared of something creates a bit of a desire to be in control of it. I’m also a bit claustrophobic as well.)
The post is about Elise working through her claustrophobic demons, and I highly recommend reading it for an unseen behind-the-scenes of what can really go on during shoots. It’s a fascinating insight into the anxieties that can run through one’s mind during moments of heavy play. I was so impressed with her tenacity in confronting her fears in the name of kink.
And finally, check out this interview I did for a forced bi website! There’s plenty of wank fodder for all you cock gobblers here (and I know there are a lot of you), so go ahead and jerk off to the concept of me forcing you to rim another man’s asshole. Enjoy!
On top of that, I’ve had some wild sessions in the past week. Needless to say, my arms are sore from the extensive whippings I’ve done and my combat boots have been getting the right sort of bloody patina they need (I’m just kidding, but not really), and I couldn’t be happier about it. Busily kinky is the best sort of week.
And that’s it for today, sluts. If this really got your horny bones rarin’ and you want more BTS of my sessions or hot exclusive photos, subscribe to my AVN Stars or OnlyFans for regular updates throughout the week. 😉
CBT (cock ball torture, if you’re in the know) is one of my absolute favorite BDSM activities. This has already become Daddy lore, but in case you haven’t spent hours obsessing over my website and stalking me on social media, you may not know that I started my cock and ball tortures at a young age.
A very young age, actually.
My first experiences with CBT were of kicking boys in the balls on the schoolyard, starting in elementary school. I was a bit of a bully, and in particular, I really enjoyed physically dominating boys. I had a couple of go-to’s: kicking them in the shins, pushing them around, punching them in the stomach, putting them in a headlock, spanking their bottoms, and really, any form of degradation I was in the mood for that day (and I was always in the mood).
Kicking ranked the highest out of anything. Everybody knew I was a kicker. I took pleasure in running up to some poor soul and feinting a step backwards to mimic a kick, only to watch them flinch in fear, and then running away, laughing at how much of a wimp the boy was. I learned the power of fear quite early on.
But of course, I didn’t always feint the kick. I more often than not followed through. And when you kick enough, and boys try to run away from you enough, the likelihood of your foot slipping and following through to the balls increases. It increases until the point of it inevitably happening.
I remember the first boy I kicked in the nuts. Let’s call him W. W was annoying. I really didn’t like him, and most of the time, I just wanted him to shut up. I thought he was a whiny little bitch, and I really enjoyed watching him cry. One particularly annoying day, I ran up to him to kick him in the shins for the umpteenth time, when he tried to cross his legs together out of gut reflex. His knees caving inwards caused my foot to slip upwards, sliding all the way up to his balls.
Looking back on it now, it was a relatively light kick, but it was enough to take the wind out of him. His reaction was absolutely comedy gold: he crossed his legs and his eyes went askew in pain, and then he crumpled to the floor like a wet napkin.
I remember feeling shocked and then trying to hold back my delight. I’m sure I didn’t do a very good job concealing my pleasure. His reaction was so immediate and overwhelming that I adored every second of it. I wanted to do it again…and again…and again…and again… and I just stood there in contained glee, watching him struggle on the playground cement, reveling in the power I had over him. I felt alive.
It became apparent to me right then and there that the male genitalia held some kind of mysterious power over men, and I wanted to know all about it. What did it feel like? How much did it hurt? Why did it hurt? How many ways could I make it hurt? How far could I push it?
As I came of age, my questions about cock and ball torture never ended. I was far more interested in the torture of cocks than the pleasure of them. I wanted to bite my partners’ cock and testicles during sex to see what reactions that would evince out of them. I had one partner who wanted me to pull and stretch his balls during sex, and I went about it with utter joy and determination. I watched videos of martial arts practitioners who were repeatedly kicked in the balls with complete fascination. And I really, really, really wanted to grab someone by the nuts and use them as a punching bag.
Imagine my delight when, upon becoming a Dominatrix, I realized that I could torture people’s cock and balls professionally.
Once “Professional Cock and Ball Torturer” was on the table, I set about my ProDomme career making sure that it was an area that I would specialize in. And either way, it was rather hard to avoid. Should it be an option, my hands would inevitably find my way down to the man’s genitals, ready to squeeze, grope, and bust. I almost always included some element of CBT bondage within my sessions. And of course, the mirthful glee on my face was unmistakable whenever given the opportunity to kick a man in the nads.
It’s the little things in life that bring the most joy. And in my particular case, it’s cock and ball torture.
W was extremely scared of me in the years following that fateful kick. I had turned from scathing little girl to ballbusting serious bitch in his eyes in under a second, and I knew it. And even though it was an accident, he and I became extremely aware of the weakness that men had in between their legs. The knowledge of that gave me more power in his eyes, and he knew that I was ready to abuse that power.
In high school, W went through puberty (but was still annoying, by all means). He grew taller and bigger than me, but I still spent those years tormenting him. Despite me staying the same size since sixth grade and the our difference in sizes increasing with each day, I still held the control over him. We shared an understanding. Because he was a man, he would always be weak to me. I knew exactly where his vulnerabilities lay.
This fascination in contrasts – in the weakness of the male sex through their low-hanging fruit – has stuck with me to this day. It was a revelation of sorts. As men grew bigger, their balls remained ever-so-weak. And I, having a Napoleon complex of sorts after having my growth spurt in sixth grade and then never growing again, found gendered vindication through their genitals. There was always a way to bring men down to my level (or lower). In my youthful obsession with CBT, I felt like I had stumbled upon a secret of the sexes: that men were weak.
And it was through exploiting this weakness that I found joy – pure, unfettered joy. Because truly, genitorture is one of the many twisted balancing acts nature has gifted us with. To give a man strength and size, but then to take it away through a cripplingly obvious weak spot. What could be more right in the world?
What’s up, bitches? 2020 has been a great year for me thus far, but it’s only just getting started. Last year ended with a bang for me – loads of doubles, namely with Lucy Khan, Bettie Bondage, and Elise Graves, so you know it was a real party.
And it turns out that 2020 is shaping out to be quite the same! I love doubles because, for one, my friendships with my Domme sisters always grows stronger when we punish slaves together, hand in hand. For another, I find that bringing in a new party always changes the dynamic of my play style. Sometimes I get caught up in doing things a certain way, but when new eyes are brought to the table, so much more wickedness can be had.
With that in mind, there are lots of opportunities for you to serve me with all my divine friends these coming weeks.
Let’s start with things in chronological order.
January 23-28: Bay Area (San Francisco/Oakland)
That’s right. If you missed me last time, I’ll be back in town again at the end of this month. I’m scheduling most of my appointments around Sunday, January 26th, however I do have very limited availability on Saturday, January 25th and Friday, January 24th.
Since I go back to the Bay quite a bit, I have lots of friends that I love to double with. Take a look at my friends page to fantasize about what evil duo you’d like me to dominate you with. Last time I was back, I had an incredible long bondage session with Elise Graves. We vibed off of each other’s energy in the most deliciously wicked way, and I’m looking forward to many more doubles in the future! In previous trips, I played with one of my good friends, Domina Yuki and had a blast! She and I have mirroring play styles, and I spent the whole time laughing.
Coincidentally enough, both of these delightful women will be visiting in the coming weeks. More on that in a bit.
February 1: Chinese New Year Play Party
And yes, it is that time of the year again! That time of year when you can indulge your absurd fetish for Asian women in the most Asian-themed party all year: Chinese New Year. The Chi Temple is holding its annual CNY play party, except this time it will be broken up into two days. I will personally be attending the Saturday event on February 1st.
If you’ve attempted any of the Chi Temple parties in the past, you’ll know that they’re fantastic. I’ve personally enjoyed the Chinese New Year parties the most as they have events, games, and guaranteed one on one time with each Mistress (around 20-25 minutes each). If you’re shy and most play parties are too overwhelming for you to approach the Daddy of your dreams, this is a great set-up that ensures that everybody gets their fair time. The party is limited to six slaves and three Mistresses each day, so it’s a bit more of an intimate event focused around play.
Damiana Chi and Lucy Khan will be hosting the parties on both days, with Jezebel Chi attending on the first day and yours truly on the second.
The party will be from 12-3PM in DTLA, and a prepaid admission of $500 is required to attend the party. Only well-vetted guests may apply, so please come with your recent references. Apply here.
January 29-31 & February 4-5: Doubles with Elise Graves
As mentioned previously, Elise Graves, famed bondage specialist, is coming to town! On top of shooting together, we’re making room for doubles. During our last playtime in Oakland together, we talked about how great it was to have two pairs of hands on the same scene. Bondage is a lot of work unto itself, which means that the time spent getting one into bondage is almost strictly for that and nothing else. To have two pairs of hands – one tying, one playing – means all the more is getting done and more fun is had! I had a great time switching off with her while she tied and I tortured, or she teased and I restrained.
February 17: Doubles with Domina Yuki
And last but definitely not least, my good friend Domina Yuki is coming into town! These next couple of weeks are truly auspicious weeks for all kinky things Asian. 😉 Yuki typically sessions in San Francisco and seeing her in my side of California is always a treat. She and I both have an affinity for predicament bondage and stinging pain, so our play styles are remarkably compatible. I’m excited to play with her since it’s been a couple years now, and it’d be delightful to see how our play styles have changed over the years.
We only have one opening available for a double on February 17th. Reserve your time before our whips today.
And that’s it, bitches! It’s a busy couple of weeks, and I’d love to see you be a part of it with me.
I don’t usually write New Year’s resolutions. I had gotten lunch with Mistress Blunt on NYE while she was visiting from New York, and she asked me if I had any. I told her, half-jokingingly, “I don’t make New Year’s resolutions because I have problems listening to any sources of authority, including myself.”
It’s true. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ My problems with authority run way too deep, y’all. Why do you think I’m a Dominatrix?
With that in mind, perhaps I shouldn’t have titled this using the word “Resolutions”. Instead, let’s call them “intentions”, “summonings”, or whatever neo-Paganistic-spiritual-self-help-crystal-healing terms you want to apply here.
In whatever case, here are the kinky things I fully plan on manifesting in my life in 2020, the year of your goddamned Daddy.
More heavy corporal punishment sessions. I’ve been itching for a good, classical domination session involving nothing more than the severe physical punishment of a willing and consensually non-consenting party. In particular, I want more JUDICIAL CANING! Some of you might know that I have an excellent caning arm. Being so accurate with a rattan stick is a source of great pride and joy for me. (It’s always the little things in life, isn’t it?) In fact, Mistress Servalan has generously written about my caning skills, and it makes me blush every time I read it. I am blushing right now, in fact. I just love hitting people with sticks so, so, so very much, and it brings a tear to my eye when other people recognize that. :’) In fact, let’s just say more heavy CP sessions in general. I’ve been craving a session consisting entirely and only of paddling (wooden paddles, please). And I always adore a good single tail practice.
Even more women/trans/nonbinary/QTPOC subbies! 2019 was the year I was blessed with the presence of all these delightful queerdos during playtime, and I’m hungry for more! Also, boobies and booties.
Heavy medical play. This was my first fetish, but I really neglected it last year as 2019 seemed to be my year of heavy ballbusting and CBT (not that I have any complaints there). This is the year I want to do more saline inflations (I’m also manifesting IV bags of saline because this saline shortage is really a fiasco), suturing and scalpel play, loads of Foley catheters and speculums, and a gyno chair of my own 💕 (at only €3500, it’s a bargain…)
Serious sissies and crossdressers. I went through a phase where I was turned off from sissies and crossdressers, but I met a couple of really great ones this year and have turned a page on my previous biases. This year, I want to do even more makeovers and put all my makeup artistry skills to work!
More Skype sessions. Because I’m lazy and don’t want to leave the house, and also because I think there is something oh-so-magical about the postmodernity of using the internet to make someone punch their own balls or drink their own piss.
And on the more superficial side…
Everything from Mr. S Leather. I’m on my way there, but you could help with that, too. 😉 Help me build my bondage empire!
More money! 2019 was one of my best years thus far, both personally and financially. While I have very strong feelings about capitalism, it’s also nice to have the money validate all my hard work and passion. :’)
More boots! Y’all got me some pretty excellent boots this year, but a Daddy can never have enough.
More leather! Because, duh.
Work/life balance. While not the sexiest thing to write about, my work has consumed me with a fury for the past six years. I’ve reached a point where I can allow myself to coast for a little bit, but I want to do so in the most pragmatic way possible so that I can both coast and still be a rich bitch. Where is the balance? I’ve yet to find it, but perhaps this will be the year to do so (I think it has something to do with scheduling and batching).
Genuine connections. Some of this purely means that I will be necessarily cutting down on the types of sessions that are not applicable to me, purely because we won’t be able to connect if I’m not into the scene at hand. And while that may hurt in the short run, I value my energy and integrity enough to know that this is the best choice for me in this point in time. Some of you may have noticed that I am become more pointed in my marketing – and this is for good reason. I want to attract those that really mesh well with me.
Videos that are meaningful to me. Now, I’m not saying that porn has to necessarily have depth or a greater cause. I’m just saying that I want to make more stuff that I can personally jerk off to, lol.
2019 was really a wonderful year for me. Post-FOSTA/SESTA, 2018 was the year I scrambled to change my advertising strategy on top of a lot of big personal life changes. I spent a lot of the year wondering if I could be a ProDomme for as long as I wanted to be one, or if I should call it quits and find a job in the vanilla world. I stuck to my plan, hoping that things would work out. 2019 was the year it really paid off.
I’ve met some truly wonderful subbies this year that make me feel damned blessed to be a Mistress, I’ve played with bodies of all shapes and sizes, I’ve made new friends in both Dominance and submission, and I bought a fuckton of bondage gear. The number of ballbusting, CBT, and heavy bondage sessions I’ve done in 2019 has shot through the roof. And I finally feel quite secure in who I am as a Mistress (because imposter syndrome is too real). Domme life has been pretty swell.
So for 2020, I want to do better. I know I can do better. And I’m excited for all the big things to come!
And here’s to all you sick fucks with your perverted resolutions as well. May all your fucked up dreams come true! 💕
PS: Photo of me fresh and new for the New Year by David Zayas Jr.
So you’ve decided to finally see a Dominatrix for the first time ever! Congratulations. You are undoubtedly very nervous and probably full of questions. In order to make the transition from vanilla to kinky pervert all the smoother for you, you probably want to read this.
I see a lot of novices. In fact, on any given month, I estimate that at least 20% of my clients are brand spankin’ new – meaning I am their first professional BDSM experience. I’ve occasionally had months where more than 70% of my clients are new. I attribute it to my very strong social media presence (particularly Instagram).
My definition of a novice within professional Femdom varies, but for the most part, I define a novice as someone with five or less hours of professional experiences under their belt. It’s an arbitrary designation, but it’s what I’ve set it to, so there’s that.
And because I see so many novices and get so many of the same questions and pleas of reassurance, here is a handy dandy guide to give you an idea of all the ins and outs of a ProDomme session, including how to book, red flags and green flags, what to expect, what to prepare for, and how to take care of yourself afterwards, in relative chronological order.
This knowledge, of course, comes from my end as the professional Mistress, but also from years of talking to my subs about what they wish they did and didn’t do. Obviously all opinions should be taken with a grain of salt, but I’m also of the belief that I usually have some pretty solid advice in regards to BDSM life coaching (probably because I’ve read so many self help books).
How to pick a Dominatrix
With the advent of the internet and social media, this may seem immensely overwhelming. Dommes are a dime a dozen on Twitter, and kinky dating apps are overflowing with fakes who try to shill you out of “deposits” or “slave contracts”. With that in mind, the very first piece of advice I have for you is to take your time in booking. Just because a woman is hot does NOT mean she is a good Domme, nor is she even real.
I highly suggest booking with an experienced and legitimate Domme for your first professional session to safeguard you from bad experiences. I’ve met one too many subs who held off on sessioning because their first session was with a Domme who didn’t know what she was doing nor did she care about the sub. This can lead to lukewarm experiences at best, and at worst, severe bodily danger. Do not hire a professional who is not a professional. Simple.
Your first professional session will probably be meaningful and memorable to you. Choose somebody who understands that and who has both the experience and the passion to guide you along.
So how do you know if she’s experienced and legitimate? Take a look at her website. Does she even have a website? That should be your first indicator to whether someone is real. Nearly all legitimate Dommes have a website because it is typically the first source of contact and information about us. Read through her website. Read through as much as possible before corresponding with her. Her website is there for a reason – to give the viewer an understanding of what she is capable of. Get an idea of who she is and how she presents herself online. Does she sound like she knows what she’s talking about? Does she have photos or videos of herself in fetish gear? Does she talk about or have pictures of BDSM equipment (or at least the ones you are interested in)? A legitimate ProDomme will certainly have a wide variety of outfits and toys to accommodate nearly any scene. These items are inevitably quite expensive (I have personally spent tens of thousands on my repertoire of implements and outfits), but a necessary investment if one is to be a serious BDSM professional.
Also just as important (although less applicable to an older school of professional Femdom): does she have an active social media presence where she interacts with other professionals? Those of us that do this for the long run usually love our community and try to stay as current in it as possible. Seeing how she talks shop with other professionals online can provide you with invaluable insight of her perspective on BDSM.
Once you’ve verified the legitimacy of the ProDomme, it’s time to gauge compatibility. For example, if you want a sensual tease and denial session, a Dominatrix who presents herself as a pure spanko/disciplinarian, dresses up only in button-up blouses and business casual, and specifically says that she only likes corporal punishment sessions may not be the right fit for you. Make sure your interests align with hers. Just because she’s attractive does not necessarily mean she is the right one for you.
If you know what your specific interests are, here is where you can really start whittling down to a couple of Dommes. A thorough read of her website and perhaps her clips store (if she has one) should give you a pretty clear idea of what she likes. Perhaps you like ballbusting. Does she do a lot of videos involving the punching of balls? Or maybe you like toilet play. Does she talk about toilet play on her website or in her social media? Maybe you want someone strict and severe. Does she wax poetic about such related activities as POW play and slave training? You get the idea. If you like something, look for it on her website and social media. Session compatibility entails that the Mistress have the skills, equipment, and persona compatible to your personal fantasies.
If you don’t see your fetish on her site but still want to session with her, don’t be afraid to ask her whether she caters to that fetish when submitting your session application. Because BDSM is so vast, oftentimes we overlook activities and forget to mention them online. Other times, Mistresses want to try something new and different to their usual routine. As long as it’s not in her hard limits, it doesn’t hurt to ask.
Social media is an excellent way of getting an idea of a Domme’s personality. Not everyone is a writer and sometimes websites can feel staid, but social media (Twitter, particularly) is a much more casual insight into how a Mistress interacts with others. Do you like her energy? Does she say things that resonate with you? One important note, however, is that social media is not a session – so do not expect to write an annoying message to a Mistress asking her what she will do to you and expecting her to respond back seriously. If you’re not paying her for her services, do not expect a professional-grade response.
Sometimes you don’t know what you like yet, and that’s ok. Perhaps you just want to try something new over the humdrum of vanilla sex. Or maybe you know you like the woman being in charge, and that’s it. It’s important to say that to the Mistress in question while also mentioning all the experiences that brought you up to this point. She will probably ask whatever pertinent questions as a follow-up to gauge what direction she’ll take you in. This is where seeing a verified professional becomes very helpful – someone with a lot of experience will have more insight into what you may like and can guide your experience in a safe and intuitive manner.
If you’re still unsure of your compatibility with the Mistress after going through her website, social media, and clips store, go ahead and give her a paid call, text, or book a consultation if she offers them. These options are often much more economical than an actual session. For the more nervous types, I find that any of these options help soothe any anxieties before a realtime experience. Because these pre-session chats are not sessions, they will be low pressure and a bit more laid back. You’ll have a chance to talk candidly about your background and in turn, she can talk about what she can offer you in session. Use it as a chance to see if your interests and personality are aligned with the prospective Mistress’.
How to book with a Professional BDSM Mistress
You’ve finally narrowed it down to one or two (or maybe three) Mistresses that you want to session with. Great! That wasn’t so hard, was it? Now it’s time to finally take the next big step and book the damned session.
First off, have you read her website? I mean this truly and seriously: have you read her website? Have you read her FAQ? Have you read her interests? Have you read her hard limits? Have you read all the possible pertinent information about booking a session that you possibly can?
If you have, go ahead and book. If you haven’t, the likelihood is high that she (or I) will ignore you. It’s usually all too clear when somebody has not done their due diligence and has just filled out a contact form with zero knowledge of what they are going into. The information is on the website for a reason, and to not read it also entails that the Mistress will have to repeat numerous details that have already been established. That’s annoying. You don’t want to be annoying, do you? Because being annoying means not getting a session. And if you’ve made it this far, you probably want that session.
If she has a contact form, fill it out clearly, succinctly, and with detail. Do not input one-word responses that show zero effort – if you put in zero effort, the ProDomme will also want to put in zero effort. Thought and consideration make applicants stand out, and I guarantee you that you will want to stand out if it is a Domme who is in demand. I personally turn away at least 50% of applicants because they have not given my very thorough form any thought. I’m sure some of these applicants could have been a fun time, but crappy first impressions are major boner killers. You want me to have a boner, don’t you?
Contact forms are easy. All you have to do is fill them out. Really! Treat it like a job application. Try to impress the Dominatrix. Be on your best behavior. Be courteous, polite, and give as much info on yourself as reasonably possible. You don’t need to write a novel about yourself (in fact, if someone wrote a novel about themselves in my contact form, I would ignore the application and mark the applicant off as a narcissist), but you do need to give insight to who you are and why you are booking the session.
If your session interests are complex in nature, I highly recommend noting all of this thoroughly in your initial correspondence. If they are particularly long (nearing novella length), I suggest sending a small tribute as a thank you for reading or scheduling a consultation or phone call so that the time the Mistress spends on preparing for your session is compensated. While all sessions require some amount of preparation and clean up before and after, a complex session requires even more thought and effort upfront, and a thank you gift can help to highlight that. Do not go into the session and expect to drop all of your interests on the Mistress without a thorough introduction beforehand. This will not bode well for you as she may have prepared for a different scene and may not have the appropriate tools or outfits at hand.
If she uses an email address to book, do the same thing. Give as much information on who you are and what you are looking for as possible. Give your available times and dates. Tell her how long of a session you are looking for (“for life” is not an answer, jackasses). The session itself is an appointment like any other – doctor, hairstylist, massage – and the BDSM professional will need all pertinent logistical information to book. The less correspondence she has to do with you, the easier it is for both of you to book the session, so present all necessary logistical information immediately.
If she asks specific questions out of you, answer them. It’s a very straightforward process. Chances are that the Mistress has done this thousands of times already and knows exactly what she needs to ask and what information she needs to have. Go ahead and answer them truthfully. Don’t omit information just because you feel embarrassed about it. If you’re embarrassed about your needs and desires, I guarantee that they will never be met and fulfilled. The more insight we have on you, the better the session will be. I promise!
Many professional Dominatrices require deposits to secure a session. If she requires one, then expect to send one. There are many ways to send deposits without a paper trail, if privacy and discretion are a large concern for you. If you can’t agree on a means of deposit, then you probably will not be able to session with a Mistress that requires one… and that’s life! If you really want to session with her, I’m sure you can find a way.
With that in mind, scammers and impersonators are very common on the internet. To ensure that you are sending a deposit to the real Mistress, only contact her through all her official channels – namely, her website and any other methods listed on her website. For me, that would be Niteflirt and SextPanther, as well as occasionally through my clips sites and social media.
Before the BDSM Session
Treat the session like you are going to work, or maybe more like you are going on vacation. I say both because first impressions matter, but also your personal schedule should be sorted out before heading out to have fun.
If she has a confirmation procedure, be sure to follow that procedure to a T. I personally have a multistep, multi-day procedure that starts from the moment the session is put in my calendar up until the actual session itself. My procedure is put in place for a reason. It works splendidly, so it’s best to follow it rather than assuming the session will happen just because you sent in a deposit.
If you are the forgetful type, put the session and all the confirmation steps in your calendar, for chrissakes. You’ve made it this far – you don’t want to fudge it up just because you forgot to call in, right?
The night before the session, try to get a good night’s sleep. Sleep is one of the pillars of health, and if you’re out of it the day of, it’ll make everything else a lot more difficult – from having your hands tied up to taking more extreme sensations. You want to be cogent for your session. I know that your nerves will probably keep you up for a bit, but do your best to be as energized and relaxed as possible for playtime. You want to make the most of it.
On the day of, make sure you’re clean. I can’t believe I have to say this, but please arrive clean. Dominatrices will touch you and get all up in your personal space, so unless you want a session where you’re locked in a cage and ignored for three hours, take a shower before the session. Stinky slaves are gross. I have personally made people shower before their session because of a lack of personal hygiene, and I can assure you that the time spent doing your courteous ablutions will cut into your precious session time.
If you know that you don’t have time to clean yourself up before the session, ask the Mistress in advance if you can arrive a couple minutes early to take a shower. I’ve had many clients come straight to the dungeon after a long flight or after work, and as long as they let me know ahead of time, I’m more than happy to accommodate that.
Make sure you eat a little bit before your first session. You don’t need a full meal, but you do need to make sure your blood sugar levels are stable. Fainting in the middle of play is not fun, and especially since it is your first time, you probably will have no idea how your body will react to certain activities. It’s best to start the session in a stable sort of way, and nourishing your body is one of the best ways of doing that. If you haven’t had time to eat, consider bringing an energy bar or any kind of easy calories to the studio.
If you’re into anal play, I suggest learning how to do enemas. There is a lot of trial and error in this, so don’t worry about getting it right the first time…but at least make the effort.
If you’re into heavy bondage or pain play, I highly suggest stretching before the session. Cramps are no bueno.
Each session has its own nuances, and with time, you will learn what you need to personally do to prepare for the session. Your Mistress may give you instructions on this as well, and if she does, it’s best to follow them for your own good.
Oh also, don’t arrive drunk, wasted, or high until the point of sloppiness. While I know quite a few subs that do this (and am not particularly pleased about it), I am personally of the belief that your first professional Domination experience should be done sober. For one, you’ll better understand your own limits and capabilities as a bottom/submissive/slave/fetishist/whatever. For another, sobriety creates a consistency in your actions that makes it easier for the Top to read you. Unless your interest is specifically forced intoxication, sobriety should be the standard within most BDSM interactions. A small drink or toke to quell your nerves is fine, but enough to the point of slurring and falling makes the whole interaction consensually dubious.
Arrive at the location a couple minutes early. Leave some time to find the space, park (if you drove), and walk up the building. If you’re exceptionally early, let the Mistress know (and do not just knock on the door just because you’re early). If she’s ready, she may let you in early. If not, she will tell you to wait until she’s done getting ready. Do not assume that just because you are already there, she’s already ready. A good session requires preparation. Give her some notice.
What to expect during a ProDomme session
And you’re here! You’re finally here! You’ve researched your Mistress, succeeded in contacting her, sending a deposit, booking the session, confirming, and now you’re finally here!
You’re probably a bundle of nerves, and that’s ok. Your Mistress can probably tell (because pretty much all novices are nervous). It’s normal to be nervous. In fact, that means that you’re excited for the experience – and that’s good! Plus, sometimes anxious people are fun to scare…
You’re probably wondering how the session will start off. Will she open the door, grab you by the collar, drag you in, rip off your clothes, and just start beating you?
While that’s fun in fetish porn, I can tell you with full assurance that this will not happen with any reputable Domme. Your very first session with a Mistress means that both of you need to feel each other out. Most sessions begin with bringing the client into the dungeon, directing where to put the remaining tribute (if done in cash), and sitting the client down for a brief consultation. The session begins only after all of this is done.
While you may have answered a lot of questions online, there may have been certain subjects omitted or new questions that may arise on the Domme’s part after a second reading of your session application. This is the time when those questions will be asked and answered. I personally like to go over the client’s interests and hard limits again in person because I find that I can read a lot from someone’s body language while they are talking about their interests or background. An in-person consultation is invaluable to me as it can provide a lot of insight towards how someone truly feels about something – whereas most people are not that revealing when writing something down.
I also use this time to field any questions the client may have about me or the session. Remember: this is your experience. Feel free to ask whatever you need to have the fullest experience possible. And don’t worry about trying to act in a certain slave-like way if that’s not you. Be yourself.
This time usually does count towards the total session time, so while you may want to talk at length, keep that in mind. Most studios are rented by the hour, and frequently Dommes will have sessions before and after you, which means that the total length of interaction you have with the Dominatrix will be constrained to that time. Some people do want to just chat for the majority of the session time because they need time to get in the headspace, and that’s ok as well. Just be sure to consider that aspect about yourself when deciding how long of a session you want. (I’ve had people book two hours with the explicit understanding that we would be leisurely chatting while they had a glass of wine for the first hour.)
And of course, be polite. Although you may have already jerked off to this woman numerous times online, this does not give you permission to touch her inappropriately or call her “babe”. The Mistress will probably swiftly correct you if you step out of line. It’s best if you act like a good bitch from the very beginning. If you have any questions about how you should be behaving, just ask. Consent is the basis of all good BDSM relationships. Some Mistresses allow more touching than others. Some don’t mind if you call them pet names. Just ask.
Once the consultation is done, the Mistress will probably make it very clear that the actual playtime is beginning. She may ask if you need to use the restroom or have a glass of water before the session. Afterwards, you will more than likely end up fully undressing (contingent on the session), you will be given the safeword and/or further instructions, and the session will begin.
All well-equipped studios will come equipped with showers, restrooms, and water.
During the session, feel free to vocalize yourself. Be expressive. The people who are the most fun to play with are the most expressive ones – they’re easier to read and to banter with. Moan, squirm, make funny noises, let go! I liken subs who aren’t expressive to pet rocks – playing with a rock is just never going to be all that fun. Don’t be afraid to communicate! It makes it all the more entertaining for both parties at hand. After all, you’re probably exploring Femdom to explore another side of you. Don’t be afraid to let go and make the most of it!
And if you feel uncomfortable (in an unsexy way) during the session, make sure the Mistress knows. This could mean that your limbs are going numb, something is poking you in not-the-right place, or that something was done that ends up hurting you unproductively. There are loads of times where you will be intentionally uncomfortable throughout the session (like getting punched in the balls, if that’s your thing), but anything that seems unintentionally uncomfortable (like pulling a muscle) should be voiced immediately. While we are very good at reading subbies, we are not actual mindreaders. Don’t be afraid to use your safeword in its intended use!
At the end of the session, it will probably be wrapped up with some amount of aftercare. I personally enjoy talking about the session once it’s over. Many subs may feel overwhelmed (ideally in a good way) after the session and may find it hard to verbalize what they’re feeling. That’s perfectly fine! You’ve had a very intense experience and need time to recuperate and wind down. Because this so often happens, I like cleaning up the equipment and toys with the client afterwards. It is a shared activity for us to do to cleanly wrap up the session while giving the bottom time to process what just happened. It’s low pressure, casual, and a way for us to connect as people. I may offer a shower (if it’s a messy sort of session) or water once everything is finished. And finally, I like to hug all my clients before sending them on their merry, newly kinked-out way.
Of course, that’s just how I like to wrap things up. Other Dominatrices may do things differently.
After your first Female Domination session
You’ll probably be feeling a bit high or out of it after your first session. That’s perfectly normal. It’s the subspace wearing off, and you’ll want to taper back to reality comfortably. Part of why I like to chat and clean at the end of the session is to help ease that transition, but you may still be feeling it a bit as you head out the door.
If possible, try to take some time out for yourself right after the session. Give yourself space to process – if that means taking a walk, getting a drink, eating some food, or whatever it takes. The primary studio I work out of is directly adjacent to many restaurants and bars, and I have a lot of clients who like to walk over to one post-session get a glass of wine and decompress. I also have a lot of clients who make sure that they don’t need to immediately go back to work after a session because they find it harder to focus afterwards. The most ideal situation is to give yourself time to decompress right after.
If you are feeling lightheaded, please do not drive after the session. Get some food and water in yourself and wait until you’re feeling a bit more stable.
I personally love to hear back from my clients after their sessions with me, whether they’re novices or veterans. If your Mistress allows for it, email her back with some of your thoughts on the session. Most of us really enjoy this as it gives us notes on what to improve on and what we did well. Furthermore, it can be incredibly validating for us to hear about the impact we made on someone. The experience of the session is oftentimes powerful for both the Mistress and the slave.
Writing back to your Mistress isn’t just for her, however (even though I do love making everything about me). Writing can be a great way for you to organize your own thoughts about the session. What do you want to explore more of? What did you think you would like but ended up not liking in playtime? What surprised you? What did you learn about yourself?
All of these thoughts usually take a couple of days to percolate, so don’t worry about getting back to her immediately after. Sit with your thoughts for a couple of days and reflect on it. You may find that what you felt immediately after the session is far different a week later, usually for the better.
Take your time and research before booking. Don’t go for the first hot person you see.
Go to a legitimate Domme for your first session.
Look at her website. Seriously, look at her website.
Gauge your compatibility to the Dominatrix via her website, social media, and clips.
If you’re unsure about the Mistress, contact her through her paid lines (Niteflirt, SextPanther, whatever she uses) or schedule a consultation to see if you mesh well with her.
Treat your first correspondence with her like a job application – be that through her contact form, email, or whatever application process she uses.
Sometimes you don’t know what you like yet, and that’s ok. Be honest and truthful about your background that brought you to her so she can guide you along.
Follow her confirmation procedure, if she has one. It should be pretty straightforward.
Get some sleep the night before.
Make sure you eat a little bit before the session to keep your blood sugar levels stable.
Be in a stable mindset when you arrive – don’t arrive inebriated. A small drink is fine. A sloppy drink is not.
Get to the location a couple minutes early. Do not enter the premises without her permission.
The session will not begin the moment she opens the door (especially for your first session ever). She will usually conduct an in-person consultation before any play starts.
Be polite. This is someone you have just met, therefore treat them like someone you just met. Ask before touching or calling her a certain nickname. You may be participating in intimate activities, but you are still getting to know each other. Get consent before assuming.
Be expressive! Communicate your needs!
Don’t be afraid to use the safeword appropriately.
If possible, give yourself time to process and come down from subspace. Eating a meal, getting a drink, or taking a walk afterwards is always a nice option.
If your Mistress allows it, email her back with your thoughts on the session once you’ve had a decent amount of time to digest what has just happened. It’s a great way for the Mistress to feel good about what she does, and an excellent way for you to figure out what you are looking for in BDSM.
And that’s it! It may all seem oh-so-very overwhelming at first, but thousands (millions???) of slaves, subs, bottoms, masochists, fetishists, and curious perverts have done it before you, and thousands (millions???) of them will do it after you. Once you get your first BDSM Domination session out of the way, your second session will be far less daunting.
You may never get rid of the nervousness of meeting a new Domme for the first time, and that’s ok. But at least you’ll have an idea of what you’re walking into now.
And with that said, I wish you luck on your first kinky adventure, perverts!
PS: first photo by Ryan Bussard.
Warning: Adult and sadomasochistic content ahead
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