Two posts in a week? What is this — Christmas? Am I being too generous with you guys? Should I put everybody in chastity now?

Anyway, jokes aside, I have a new interview out with Soft White Underbelly today.

Some of you may have seen his videos online — his current wheelhouse tends to be residents of Skid Row, which, if you are unfamiliar with LA, is not the happiest part of LA, to say the least. He also interviews a lot of survival sex workers, people with convicted crimes, incest survivors… the basic gist is that a lot of these people tend to be on the darker side of humanity. One might refer to many of his videos as “trauma porn”, AKA the stuff certain people might watch to make themselves feel better about their current living situations.

I think trauma porn can attract a certain type of superiority narrative. “This person is so broken, that’s the only reason they’re like this, and I could never be like that because I’m not broken like them.” “This person must have some deep unseated trauma that makes them do something that no logical person could ever do.” “This person says they’re happy, but then you can see the sadness in their eyes” — a lot of personal incredulity wherein the interviewee is generally not respected as being a sound and whole person. Etc., etc. There’s only so much one can say to a viewer who already has preconceived notions, especially if the viewer goes into the video looking too gawk at another person’s trauma. It can, at times, become a bit of a freak show.

Obviously, I have some strong opinions about trauma porn. Sometimes in the process of trying to create empathy by showing the vulnerable sides of others, we just create judgement. I was fully anticipating the judgement of SWU viewers, having read many similar comments from prior videos.

And then there’s me! Happily a Dominatrix for almost a decade now. Not trafficked, successful, in therapy with a great therapist, sober, long-term-partnered, and overall very fulfilled in my life with a very cute and well-fed dog and a nice suburban home. It’s crazy — how can someone like me exist??? Is it all a lie??? Am I just scamming everybody with my fake story so that I can turn everybody into degeneracy like me??? Am I hiding behind a facade of confidence when, in actuality, I’m irreparably sad and lost inside??? I guess the world will never know!!!!!!!!! (not that me saying anything otherwise would make a difference to the naysayers)

Anyway, I knew what kind of internet environment I was walking into with this video. A lot of the comments for his other videos are not the greatest, with lots of people thoroughly convinced that only someone currently suffering in their own mental hell could be a sex worker, and I was fully prepared for that. I hoped to bring a different perspective to that as someone who comes into sex work as a choice and with privilege to continue doing it comfortably. I think it’s important that people understand that some of us do this because it truly fulfills us, and not because we’re morally or mentally defective.

After the interview, Mark and I had a nice little chat about how he was relieved to talk to someone who was actually happy with how their life path had turned out. It sounded like he was a bit burnt out about interviewing people with rough backgrounds and ultimately wanted to move away from the trauma-laden narrative. I’m glad I could be a part of that. I think there should be more happy interviews about sick perverts like us living our best lives!

So with all of that, here’s the video. Tell me what you thought of the interview. Leave a nice comment. Upvote the positive ones. Tell all the men threatened by a confident Femme that everything will be ok. And go ahead and be rude to the racist comments in there as well. 😘