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A Human Furniture Lifestyle

One of my biggest fantasies in my personal life has been human furniture, or forniphilia. The name itself is pretty self-explanatory. It’s humans…made into furniture. Isn’t the world of kink so strange and grand?

I think my fetish first arose from Clockwork Orange. If you’ve ever watched the movie before (which, by the way, has also been a huge source of inspiration for a lot of my BDSM practice), you know exactly what I’m talking about…

I mean how fucking HOT is this???

…the Korova Milk Bar scenes in Clockwork Orange. Human furniture everywhere! Tables, sculptures, milk dispensers! Hot naked women! But most importantly: objectification!

As a sidenote, Kubrick’s inspiration for Korova Milk bar came from Allen Jones sculptures. H O T.

I love objectification. Something about making people into objects of my entertainment, reducing them down to pure form and function, is so very enticing to me. First, there is the element of restraint in both movement and choice – physical and mental bondage, and you know your Daddy loves bondage. Then there’s the act of creating someone into an object of your own choosing. Pure dominion and control over an autonomous human to create them into your sentient bitch-object. It’s utterly delightful!

One of my favorite bondage studios is House of Gord, purely for their excellently twisted modes of creating objectifying people through bondage. I love nearly everything they post – the pure sexual objectification in all the bondage bottoms is both innovative and oh-so-very humiliating. I frequently try to replicate some of their postures in my own practice, but alas, most of my clients are neither fit nor flexible enough to keep those positions for long enough. Also, Jeff Gord has so many specialized pieces of furniture that some of the poses are nearly impossible! I truly admire his dedication to his craft in that regard.

I mean just look at that! I didn’t even have to dig deep to find that magnificent creation. The entire site is brilliant, and I highly recommend you all take gander. I would love to shoot for them at some point. It would be a dream come true!

Human furniture is also a regular theme in popular culture and art. I get particularly giddy coming across it in some of my favorite TV shows. Most recently, it appeared in Succession, my current favorite HBO show. Having human furniture in it doesn’t hurt, either. 😉

And of course, forniphilia is highly popular in bondage comics – purely because some of the modes of objectification are so unrealistic and unsustainable that they could only exist in fictional media. (But honestly, the more untenable it is, the more I’m into it. I’m an extremist of sorts.) One of my favorite bondage comics ever is by Simon Benson, titled Stepford Bound. The comic definitely falls more heavily into the objectification/gimp aspect of BDSM, but you get the idea.

A true gimping! I regularly refer back to this comic book for inspiration.

A quick survey of Google Images brings even more sources of beautiful human furniture. I highly recommend you taking your own little dive into it if it interests you. 😉

Photo by Jácint Halász
Photo by Jácint Halász

The artist, David Blazquez, has done a couple of iconic human furniture photos that periodically make their rounds on Twitter every couple of months. I’ve had them saved in my pervy inspiration photos on my computer since my Domme inception. They’re aptly titled Human Furniture, or Molbiliario Humano.

This is one of the most popular pictures circulating human furniture Twitter. I love this!
Interestingly enough, all these pictures are self-portraits of the artist superimposed on himself. Makes you think, right?
I’m smiling thinking about slaves arduously holding up my enormous 60″ TV while I Netflix and chill.
And of course, lamps!

Speaking about lamps, you may have noticed the featured picture of this blog post. The photo is by Lauren Dickerhoof, shot during one of my East Coast tours in NYC. I think human lamps are hilarious, and I’ve even done a video about it. It’s actually one of my favorite videos ever, purely because it’s about human furniture, obviously.

I like human furniture so much that I even messaged someone on a kinky dating app about it (who appropriately had a profile picture of him with a lampshade on). We never met up, but my enthusiasm for his profile was so great that I couldn’t contain myself and had to message him (and I pretty much never message people first). My dream home (or dream dungeon) would be entirely composed of furniture in the form of humans. And I’ve yet to get a pure human furniture session, so here is my friendly suggestion that they are always welcome…


In other news, I just arrived in Florida for Order of Indomitus! The weather is delightfully muggy and warm here (great for my reptilian homeostasis), and I can’t wait to kick off the festivities tomorrow. Femdom summer camp! I’m currently writing this blog post while soaking in the heat in the pool house.

I’ll be back to taking sessions in LA starting November 14th. It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks!